What women really want

I’m sick of people telling me about my relationship.

I can accept that Cosmopolitan magazine will always try to tell me any number of things I need to say or try in order to spice up my relationship, but when one of CNN.com’s leading stories is “What your husband isn’t telling you” or Yahoo’s front page is “9 signs he’s going to cheat” or “How to make him love you,” I get angry.

I assume that CNN and Yahoo are gender-neutral, but they both seem to make it the woman’s job to fix a relationship.

I’ve polled some friends, and here’s what we have to say because, unfortunately, Sports Illustrated probably won’t publish an article about what women want next to the latest statistics.

We don’t mind spending time apart from each other. You are an adult, go hang out with your friends and have a good time. It is not OK to tell your “boys” that we “let you off your leash” for a night or give them details about our sex life.

On that note, we really want your friends to like us, so please invite us to hang out with them.

But in doing so, know that we don’t want to hear you rate the hotness of other women (even celebrities) or talk about that one time when you were really drunk and hooked up with some girl.

In fact, we don’t ever want to hear about your exes. As far as we’re concerned, there were no other women before us. And you should feel the same way.

We are going to hug or talk to other men, but that does not mean we are flirting with them. And sorry for getting mad at you for doing the same.

Pick your battles. Just because we might not drive as quickly or efficiently as you’d prefer is not an excuse to raise your voice.

When you say you will call us at a certain time, you better call. Or else we will wait and get angrier by the second, and you don’t want that.

Sometimes we don’t love our bodies; it’s hard being a girl in a world where we’re constantly being judged by our male and female peers. Don’t get mad us, just tell us we’re beautiful and we’ll move on.

Sometimes we put a lot of effort into our appearance, and it’s all for you. So please, throw us a bone and compliment us.

We’re not that delicate. I can carry my own bag and open my own door. That being said, if you want to be chivalrous then by all means, feel free to do so. There’s nothing sexier than being treated like a princess.

We love cuddling, but hate when you rip out the sheets 20 minutes after the bed was just made.

There are other channels besides ESPN, and if we’re going to watch a game with you, you can’t complain when we want to watch “Gossip Girl.” It’s all about compromise.

Lastly, we really do love you, even when we might not like you – even when you say gross things, leave us at the table for 20 minutes to go to the bathroom, or act like you’re always right.

Because you’re not, but you were right in choosing us.