Mo Mandel sounds off on sex, animal affairs

Headliner Mo Mandel kept his audiences laughing this weekend at the Funny Bone Bloomington Comedy Club with his observational humor on topics including sex, kids and growing older.


Regular weekend host Brian M. Frange took the stage first to warm up the crowd and introduce guest comedienne and recent IU graduate Ashley Bullington.

As last week’s open-mic night winner, Bullington recalled her days playing Heads Up, Seven Up in the third grade.

“You had to pick the person who picked you. You had to be smart to do that. Or you had to cheat, which is what I did,” she said.

Bullington also commented on a misconception that she is a lesbian.
“It’s because of the haircut,” she said referring to her short brunette locks, “because apparently the way to come out now is to get your hair cut.”

Feature performer Ryan Singer followed Bullington’s set with material that included several jokes about his mother.

“For a joke, she told me I was adopted on April Fool’s Day,” he said. “She let me believe it for two weeks.”

When his mother showed him around his parents’ new workout room, Singer got an unpleasant surprise.

“Then, over here is where the stripper pole goes,” he said, imitating his mom. “We’re going to put a mirror up so I can watch myself while I’m working the pole.”

Singer said he practices safe sex “and by that, I mean I don’t get laid,”  but added that he isn’t picky.

“A woman has to like baseball and not have a beard,” he said while warning women about inflated expectations in dating.

“Men are like weathermen – they tell you you’re going to get six to ten inches,” he said. “You wake up the next morning, you only got three to five.”

Singer then turned the stage to Mandel, who offered proof people can go home again in a story about visiting the Walmart in his hometown.

“I just walk around and talk to all the people who were popular in high school,” he said.
He later recalled Smokey the Bear commercials that told children “Only you can prevent forest fires.”

“I’m eight. I can’t prevent bed-wetting,” Mandel said.

After commenting that “the implications of bestiality is completely dependent on the animal involved” – a dog being creepy, but a lion being impressive – Mandel showed that efficiency isn’t always a good thing.

“I’m good at sex. I’m fast at it,” he said. “In this economy, we’re all busy ... two minutes, you’re done.”