Boy meets girl, girl gives boy a makeover

I do not understand why men have seemingly super-glued themselves into holey, faded sweatshirts and mud-caked tennis shoes. I understand that the general male population enjoys the simplicity of yesterday’s T-shirt, but the general female population enjoys the sexiness of a well-dressed man.

As Cher Horowitz put it in “Clueless,” “It looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we’re expected to swoon? I don’t think so.”

Taking your dislike for the occasionally complex and time-consuming art of fashion with a grain of salt, I have constructed a fool-proof and frustration-proof menswear manual.

Good-fitting jeans are an essential part of everyone’s wardrobe: they are worn to almost every occasion, making them the MVP of your closet.

Straight leg or boot cut jeans with a dark wash are classic and work with a majority of shirts and jackets.

A good fit is also key, so make sure to try everything on before buying it.

If the garment’s tag says “pre shrunk,” it probably will not get any smaller after you wash it. Otherwise, go on the side of caution, and pick a slightly longer pair.

The Jordan River might have the tendency to flood, but there is no reason to prepare for Noah’s Ark part two every day.

For your upper half, never underestimate the power of a good button-down shirt. Solid or striped shirts are the best choice for both day and evening.

If you want to take the button down to the next level, wear a long sleeved sweater over it, a homage to my not-so-secret crush Jim Halpert from “The Office.” Keep the sweater a solid color to avoid the problematic task of mixing prints.

Great jackets polish off a look, and just like jeans and button downs, you only need a few to reinvent your wardrobe.

Blazers look great on everyone and are best in a versatile color such as black or gray to broaden their usefulness. Make sure the hemline hits at the middle of your palms to ensure a great fit. Drowning in your dad’s suit jacket was cute when you were four but not so much now.

Leather biker jackets are picking up speed and gracing the bodies of every male model in “GQ.” Steer clear of anything with a Harley Davidson or Looney Toons logo on the back – they tend to be a little frightening.

The luckiest and most encouraging thing about men’s fashion is its versatility, no matter what the season or trend. All you need is a few simple touches to reinvent your look and construct a stylish new wardrobe.