The seven deadly sins of Halloween fashion

Ever since my parents could wiggle me into a pink bunny costume with built-in footie pajamas, I have been a complete Halloween freak. Not the typical cover-myself-in-blood-and-play-with-a-Ouija-board kind of freak, but one that obsesses over every detail and gets legitimately mad at people who just stick Halloween in the category of Hallmark cash cows.

The most crucial aspect for me has always been my costume – the outfit with a night-long lifespan that can either make a statement or fall flat like molded pumpkin pie.

To deter anyone from a dreaded ensemble faux pas, I have assembled a Divine Comedy of the Seven Deadly Sins of Halloween Fashion, and how you can avoid them.

1. The “too soon” costume is bound to appear this year, following the recent deaths of pop culture icons like Michael Jackson, Patrick Swayze and Farrah Fawcett.
While these legends have always been public idols, it might not be so politically correct to portray them post mortem.
Anyone who offers themselves up for public scrutiny, however, is fair game. That means you, Kate Gosselin.

2. As Lindsay Lohan put it in “Mean Girls”: “Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.
The hardcore girls just wear lingerie and some form of animal ears.”
While many store-bought costumes come with more glances from male creepsters and less fabric, the notion of “tomorrow is November” is occasionally overlooked. T
his is increasingly evident on Halloween, when college girls might as well be streaking in Antarctica due to their lack of body coverage in frigid temperatures.

3. At every Halloween party, there is always “that guy” without a costume.
When you ask what he is supposed to be, he sheepishly replies, “I’m dressed as myself.”
Even if it is 6 p.m. on Halloween and you are at a loss for ideas, pick up a mask from a costume shop. They are less expensive than a full costume, and you will avoid being tagged as “that guy who hates Halloween.”

4. Overspending is a major Halloween sin.
Packaged costumes are outrageously priced, with the added disaster of bumping into a hundred people wearing your same outfit.
Assembling a costume yourself is drastically cheaper and exponentially more creative, and fabric stores and thrift shops will generally carry any raw materials you might need.

5. Couples who come in costume together are risky. Opting for something straightforward, like Bonnie and Clyde or Caesar and Cleopatra, makes paired costumes exciting.
Venturing down the path of “ketchup and mustard” and “plug and socket” is when couples’ costumes get downright creepy.

6. With most of your focus directed toward what is happening below the neckline, it is easy to forget about the magic of makeup.
It is the easiest way to play up your Halloween look, and just for one day no one can mock you for channeling Mimi from “The Drew Carey Show.”
Cosmetics giant MAC has just assembled a look book of makeup layouts good enough to stand alone as costumes, making it even easier for the artistically challenged to paint their way to a more chic Halloween costume.

7. Perhaps the most deadly of all Halloween sins is thinking inside the box. Witches, fairies and cats are a dime a dozen and drain the holiday of its creative rapport.
Prevent yourself from going as something predictable and search for inspiration.
You do not have to break the bank for a costume; most of your supplies for an innovative getup are already in your closet. 
Do not hesitate to turn heads and raise some eyebrows.

Even if you earn the occasional “I can’t believe she’s wearing that!” comment,
Halloween is supposed to be about the wow factor, so slap on some crazy makeup, wear something that would make Lady Gaga proud and have a stylish Halloween.