Think before you move

College is the time when students begin thinking about the rest of their lives. Degrees. Careers. Marriage. Kids. Golden retrievers. White picket fences.

And as we all face the nagging questions of our future, it’s natural for many boyfriends and girlfriends to want to take the next step, which usually means moving in together.

I know, because two years ago I was in this spot. Two years ago I couldn’t have been more excited to sign a one-bedroom lease with my girlfriend of more than a year.

At the time it seemed like an obvious choice. We had been inseparable since we started dating our senior year of high school. That summer and our freshman year, we essentially lived together.

I saw her every day for almost two years. She was my best friend, my roommate, my lover and my safety net whenever I needed someone to catch me.

When we moved into our apartment last fall, it was one of the happiest times of my life.

But someone once said that all good things must end, and for me they did. I don’t regret my decision to live with her. I regret a lot of things about how we broke up, but not that. And yes, if I knew how it was going to end, I wouldn’t have done it.

But that’s the point really: You never know how it’s going to end until you try. We never talked about what would happen if we broke up. Neither one of us saw that as a possibility.

Love is a beautiful and amazing feeling, and when you’re in it, you never think it will end. But it might. Only a fool (like me) would not be prepared for that. You must talk about who will move out, who gets what, what to do with the lease, the posters, the pots and pans and even the four seasons of “The Office.”

Don’t wait until it’s too late to sort out all the details. Make sure you are both prepared to handle all the possible outcomes and have a plan in case the unthinkable happens.
Fortunately, I was able to move back into the dorms, but don’t leave these things to chance. Talk about it, even if it seems out of the question now.

And if you do move in together, my biggest advice is to talk. The biggest failure in my relationship was a lack of communication. Just because you live with someone doesn’t mean you will become closer or get enough time together. Don’t become complacent or stop working at growing your relationship.

So if you’re ready, go ahead and take the plunge. You can’t live your entire life in a bubble afraid of getting hurt. And if you think he or she is the one, you owe it to yourself to fi nd out now, not later.