‘Lifetime’ drama meets runway

It seems as if the people at the Lifetime Network finally got some fashion sense knocked into them.
 
Last Thursday kicked off season seven of “Project Runway,” just a few weeks after season six fizzled to its boring end.

I watched the finale, but I can’t remember who won, nor do I really care.

But I believe in second chances, and Lifetime didn’t fail – at least not yet. While I don’t think the network provides the best context for the show (a show about the fashion industry wedged between the frontrunners in the hell of made-for-TV movies, including flicks such as “To Be Fat Like Me”?), they took a cue from the show’s old home, Bravo.

First and most importantly, the show is back in New York. Sorry, Los Angeles, the show had way too much reality television trash last season, probably because it took place in a city known more for entertainment than fashion design. 

Also, you really can’t have this show without Michael Kors or Nina Garcia. They both describe an outfit in a way that seems a little outlandish at first. Though in a way, it’s how you wanted to describe it but couldn’t find the right words.

After hearing their words of wisdom, you agree that yes, that model does look like a French maid going to a funeral or “Barefoot Appalachian Lil’ Abner Barbie,” even if you know that Matel never made such a doll.

Lacking Michael’s over-the-top zings and Nina’s overall shrewdness, the judging in last season felt pretty stale. I don’t think anyone would say the comment “It looks nice” offers enough criticism on the style and craftsmanship of an outfit usually made in 24 hours.
I guess this shows that uninspiring outfits and bland commentary go well together.
And just like we’ve seen before on “Project Runway,” Heidi is pregnant this season, and she looks great. I’m sure anyone could have guessed that.

Tim Gunn was pretty much the only thing the show had going for it last season, and it doesn’t seem like he’ll disappoint this time around. His snooty but somehow comforting tone delivered plenty of memorable dialogue, such as calling a piece of fabric “the starring role” in the ensemble.

This season’s cast is diverse as it always has been, but there are a few contestants that stood out before their first looks went down the runway.

Ping Wu will probably face jokes about table tennis and how she doesn’t use a dress form, and someone will need to tell Janeane Marie Ceccanti to stop crying. She couldn’t even wait until the opening credits were done before bawling about possibly making it to Bryant Park.

But again, this is Lifetime, where teary-eyed women are a primary source of revenue.
Fans will also appreciate the show’s availability in high-definition, meaning that we can all scrutinize every flaw in an outfit as much as Garcia will this season.

I just can’t wait until Gunn calls an outfit “matronly” or “visceral” as he holds his hand to his chest, cringing in pain. Now that’s real Lifetime drama.