Artists that won’t grow up or go away

Let me say I saw it coming. Lil Wayne has been in the slammer for three weeks, and already the music world has gone into a very dark place.

A place where finely manicured pubescent teens, devoid of any acne or soul, seem to be present within every form of media possible. They are out to ravage the innocent with their goofy over-bleached smiles and their tousled yet perfect hair.

Before you know it, you’re watching Nicholas Sparks’ movies, cuddling in your “Bieber Fever” Snuggie. It is a slippery slope to your demise.

I’m exaggerating a bit. First, Lil Wayne made a fair amount of videos and tracks before going in. So guy with the truck and the ‘awesome’ stereo system, don’t worry your offbeat bobbing head — it will be like he never left.

Second, what has really got me going is since spring break there has been a Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus overload and I can’t take one more sweet, wholesome minute of it.

Bieber has been popping-and-locking all across TV to promote his new album, “My World 2.0,” which is supposed to be the second part of his album, released in late 2009. People have been eating up his new single “Baby” like the Lunchables I’m sure he snacks on backstage.

It bothers me that I own a Game Boy older than he is, yet his lyrics are for men twice his age. And something feels wrong about these older girls lusting after a boy who very recently turned 16. It sort of toes the line from “flirty jailbait” to some serious “To Catch a Predator” TV show business.

Also, Cyrus has recently showed up in the usual places to promote her movie “The Last Song,” but then came out of left field as a mentor on Tuesday’s episode of “American Idol.” Now if this doesn’t already raise a flag, let me explain.

“American Idol” mentors are known have had enough experience to share with a new artist. When I need to know how to properly coordinate fishnets and a cardigan, I’ll ask Cyrus, but not for advice on singing in a competition.

Despite all this, I’m done bashing these kids. They have seen and done more in their teenage life than I can only wish to do after I pay off my student loans
Sure, they can get annoying, but in their defense, I have seen more than enough episodes of VH1’s “Behind The Music” to know that it can only go downhill from here.

Live it up, kiddies.