420: THE POP CULTURE POT

What will happen to the stoner comedies once marijuana is legalized? There will certainly be a lot more. Once producers know the theaters can be clogged with stoner smoke, half the marquees will contain titles like “A Monkey Shoots A Gun For 90 Minutes” (Note: If a stoner comedy hasn’t yet parodied the old THX opening logo with a “THC” symbol and an ascending sound of a bong hit, someone should get on that).

Marijuana has had a strange place in our culture; despite being vilified in early films like Reefer Madness (1936), the drug has mostly been glorified in the past three decades as a renegade, feel-good habit enjoyed by those who think outside the box. Each of these stories have always focused on the chase and flee from the law, so where do we go with those stories when “wake and bake” is as commonplace as morning coffee?

Anti-marijuana ads were never that convincing. One of my favorites depicted a dog telling his teenage master “you’re not the same when you smoke.” This was to presumably guilt younglings into abstaining from smoking lest their pets think less of them. In retrospect, telling youth that marijuana allows you to become a new-age Doctor Dolittle probably isn’t the best message. Had that been real, that girl would’ve hit the road as a pet psychic with a car full of weed and her talking dog.

Kids will need some sort of new forbidden vice to partake in behind their school cafeterias. With the acceptance of cannabis, I predict methamphetamine will take its place. It’s cheap (one child’s lunch money can probably make three gallons of crystal meth), and before your teeth fall out, it can do wonders for slimming your figure.

Because marijuana already has a culture associated with it, I can’t wait to see which parts of the media shift towards their new demographic. Of course Spike will find some blocks in its schedule in between MANswers marathons, but there will be others. Paula Deen will debut a new recipe for weed and doughnut sandwiches because, well, why the hell not? My money’s on Brian Williams for being the first news anchor to smoke on the air.    

These unfounded predictions — while a tad extreme — would only apply for the initial months under the new law. There will be a cultural bubble similar to the recent fascination with Twitter. CNN’s Wolf Blitzer will ask viewers, “What’s your high thought of the day?” and I will finally enjoy the viewer input segments.

The first time my parents finally let me stay up past curfew, I was so excited about my newfound freedom that I stayed up all night fueled by Smarties candy. It wasn’t that I wanted to see the sunrise. I merely wanted to test my newfound freedom. A similar interest in exploration of legal marijuana will put our nation in a sloth-like stupor as we come to terms with the new standard. Nursing homes will never have to worry about their patients sitting around bored once ganja sits in all of their ceramic candy bowls.

It won’t be until a generation is born without being taught of weed’s forbidden status that we can treat it with the same casualness as restricted items like alcohol and cigarettes. Which is wonderful — because no one has ever overused those.

 
E-mail: cquandt@indiana.edu