Bare-boobed benevolence

Boobs are wonderful. Coming in all shapes, sizes, textures, tastes and colors, they unequivocally entice children and adults.

As a hot-blooded American male college student, I can confirm that their immense power and magnetic qualities have not diminished since my infancy.

The power of the boobs extends far into the East and is the key to establishing equality for Saudi Arabian women.

The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia is one of the most significant countries in the Muslim faith. As the home of Islam’s two holiest cities, Mecca and Medina, Saudi Arabia follows a very strict interpretation of the Quran, Islam’s holy book, to maintain a reverent and respectful atmosphere. As such, Shariah, or Islamic law, is the law of the land.

In the United States, it’s easy to notice the stark differences between Shariah and our own secular laws.

One of the most widely discussed Saudi laws prohibits women from driving. Critics point out the obvious inequality this discrimination enforces. Yet, this driving ban is just one of a host of gender-specific laws enforced in Saudi Arabia.

The Quran prescribes the utmost humility and respect between men and women.

As such, women practice purdah, the separation of the sexes. This traditionally takes two forms: Women are physically segregated and must also cover themselves. Since purdah varies significantly among practitioners, the clothing can be as little as a small head covering or as much as a burqa or niqab, which fully envelop the woman’s body and face.

This practice of extreme modesty is a physical way of honoring the Quran’s commands regarding the sexes.

However, the practice makes common activities extremely inconvenient and impractical.

As a part of purdah, women are also not supposed to speak to non-related males. This, combined with the prohibition on driving, creates the need for each Saudi woman to have a driver. Since the driver is usually not a relative, women have been forced to break purdah simply to tell their drivers where they’d like to go.

This dilemma might seem impossibly difficult, but then there’s the power of the boobs.

A Saudi cleric has issued a fatwa, or religious decree, allowing women to breastfeed their drivers and any other non-related male to whom they speak regularly in order to make their being alone together permissible.

Islam, like other religions and traditions, encourages the breastfeeding of children, which is still commonly done by wet nurses.

These wet nurses, usually unrelated to the children they breastfeed, are able to do so because, per Islamic teachings, the practice creates a familial bond as strong a blood relationship.

Although this fatwa has not yet become law, it should be encouraged. Though this endorsement might seem shocking, even “icky,” to some, this is a simple and practical way to allow Saudi women to attain more rights for themselves using their own traditions and working within their culture.

Obviously, since such reverence is held for both of the sexes, the act of breastfeeding would not be sexual in any way.

In fact, physical suckling of the nipple is not encouraged. Instead, the unrelated male would simply consume pre-pumped breast milk.

As for consuming the breast milk itself, there is an additional benefit highlighted by my fellow columnist Josh Kraus in his Feb. 24 column: “Breast milk has more vitamin E, more iron, more essential fatty acids and less sodium than cow milk. It tastes sweeter, too, and has powerful antibodies that cow milk lacks.”

Breastfeeding is a good solution and a step in the right direction. Working within their religious laws, Muslim women will be able to open up the lines of communication, foster familial relations and provide a yummy, nutritious drink.

It’s a win-win for everyone involved.


E-mail: yzchaudh@indiana.edu