What the 'Hex'?

And the award for worst movie of the year goes to: “Jonah Hex”!

Taking on the poorest aspects of “Constantine” and “Wild Wild West,” “Jonah Hex” is possibly the worst comic book movie ever. And that’s saying quite a lot.

Based on the DC comic book, it is a simple western about a confederate soldier-turned-cowboy bounty hunter with a horrifically scarred face named Jonah Hex (Josh Brolin). It’s a straightforward plot that is then complicated with Native American voodoo magic, giant machine guns that shoot nuclear bombs and Megan Fox’s failed attempts at a southern accent.

Every line of dialogue drips with cliche and overinflated self-importance, the plot is an absolute nonsensical mess, and the acting is nearly unwatchable (John Malkovich’s performance as the villain included). Instead of keeping things simple and making the best western they could, Warner Brothers has tried to borrow something from every genre and appeal to the lowest common denominator.

If you like to think about a movie while you watch and expect some sense of logic or reason from your theater-going experience, avoid this film at all costs.

If, however, you are of the type that likes to go to the cinema to have your mind hypnotized into a quivering gelatinous mass by the pretty lights flickering on the shiny screen, then by all means, enjoy “Jonah Hex.”