The world is flats

The more I go shoe shopping, the more I notice that high heels are about one circus away from being stilts.

Platforms with the width of a brick have to compete with 9 inches of heel, not to mention the straps, zippers and bicycle horn that bind your feet into a tiptoe position for the night.

The myth has always been that heels are the only footwear that give your legs shape and give you some extra height, but let me be the first to tell you that is just one tall tale (pun very much intended).

Women have a way of communicating their comfort level in heels, and as a fellow member of the species, I usually can translate exactly how they’re feeling.

If a woman can do what I‘ve dubbed as the “Carrie Bradshaw” jog across the street, then she’s fairly comfortable. If she is walking moderately, but seems to be slightly lifting up her feet, then the shoe is probably too narrow across her toes.

If she is sliding her feet along, then the shoes are possibly too tight across the widest part of her feet. And if she passes out in the middle of the street, then she probably got a good deal on a pair two sizes too small.

Women do not wear heels for fun; it’s the cosmetic attributes that has us so attracted. However, there are alternatives when we don’t want to feel such as we’re starting at the center position on the basketball team.

Now that we’re entering into the fall season, try a flat knee-high boot with a miniskirt. Knee-highs give your leg the length, and when it’s paired with a mini, the exposed leg stretches you out.

You can wear colored tights for the extra pop at night or textured knee high socks that go up just a little higher than the actual boot for a rustic fall afternoon feel.

Another option is the leather oxford shoe. It’s classic and androgynous, and just as chic with a mini dress than with a pair of slacks.

You can continue to live in a dream world where heels are the only way to get the look.

But believe me, the world is flats.