Living with roommates? There will most likely be conflicts. And if your roommates don’t like conflicts, there will most likely be sticky notes. Maybe you’re the type who relies on these handy squares of paper to vent your frustrations. Or maybe you feel slightly freaked out at the thought of them posted in your pantry, above the sink, or next to the empty roll of toilet paper in your bathroom. You’d rather talk it out, face to face, and if it ends in yelling and slamming doors, so be it. Whatever your style, we want to help you keep the peace. We’ve gathered advice and found out what works for students and experts around campus so you can keep your IU home a happy one, or at least sticky note-free.
Don’t touch my Cheerios.
Food is among the biggest issues between roommates, but we’re not surprised. That’s why it’s essential to figure out the logistics before move-in, including the No. 1 question: will you share food or keep it separate? The right decision, it seems, depends on personality and preference.
Sharing food with roommates and going the community-fund route can be a risk. While you may want to feel like one big happy family, you have to remember your mom is (most likely) not paying for the food. That means your coffee-loving roommate could be spending your dough on something you’ll never consume. You could also feel slighted when you spend $100 on groceries one week, and your roommate spends half that the next. Complications like these make senior Mike Schloop and his four roommates choose to keep their groceries separate. “We share milk and beer sometimes,” he says, “but we mostly buy our own food. We’ve never had any big issues.”
Others, like sophomore Chelsea Hoffmann and her roommate, shop communally. They cook meals together three times a week and have found their method saves money. “It’s cheaper,” Hoffman says, “because it’s hard to buy stuff that doesn’t go bad. And I trust that she’s not going to eat everything I buy.”
Clean up your $%#@.
The dishes. The trash. The toilet. When living with others, it’s shocking how much – and how often – spaces need cleaning. If a roommate’s messiness drives you mad and a simple discussion won’t work, consider setting up a cleaning system, like the ones our parents set up for chores. Most students, however, prefer things less structured. “When the trash gets full, someone sees it and takes it out,” Schloop says. “When you see the sink’s full, you put the stuff in the dishwasher. When the dishwasher’s full, you start it.” It seems like common sense, right? But really, this method only works if all roommates are respectful and responsible, or at least laid back. And if you have a Type-A personality and live with a complete slob, good luck. “It’s very hard to get one person to be clean if they’re not,” says Foster Quad residence manager Dennis Perkins.
I’m moving out.
Proper communication will help prevent a roommate explosion. Explosions are most often caused caused by little problems that live in silence, building and building until at least one person snaps and moves out. “A lot of people let the issues go for two or three months, and then they explode,” says Andrew Scherle, a leasing agent at Hoosier Court Apartments. “And that’s what causes the conflict in the first place.”
The best way to avoid a fight is to talk about small issues when they arise. Perkins also encourages freshmen to take the roommate contracts they filled out in September seriously. “Early on, everything’s fine,” he says. “It’s the honeymoon period. Then students are surprised later on. If they want to renegotiate once they realize they’re more studious or don’t want guests in the room until 5 a.m., do it now.”
