Robert Pattinson’s three-ring circus

“Water for Elephants” did not offend me in the slightest, and it even thrilled me in parts. But I doubt I will ever see it again.

The film consisted of a steady stream of events, none of which were surprising and all of which could have taken place a hundred times before in other films.

Robert Pattinson’s central conflict, losing his family, isn’t really addressed by the circus he’s fallen into. We see him make friends, but by the middle of the film, he still could be almost anyone. He’s an everyman to a fault — so committed to doing the right thing that he’s bland.

Christoph Waltz (“Inglourious Basterds”) is a delight because his character is brimming with inner turmoil, obsessed with the status of his circus. I ended up sympathizing with him more than the leads, namely because I wasn’t really sure what they wanted out of life other than to escape from his circus.

There’s lots of colorful spectacle and Pattinson looking pained, but the film is light on original story.