Crimson & Crowley: Decidated Follower of Fashion

I am by no means a Beau Brummell, the Englishman who popularized the suit with tie.
It’s by sheer luck that my wardrobe of plaid shirts is considered hip.

My current look was born out of an attempt to dress like Neil Young on the cover of “Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere” and The Replacements on the cover of “Let It Be.” I just thought they looked cool and, given my lack of musical skill, imitating their sense of fashion was as close to being a rock star as I could get.

When I began having trouble with my eyesight my sophomore year of college, I knew I’d probably have to start wearing glasses. When it came time to select my frames, I opted for horn-rimmed glasses because I wanted to wear the same type as my heroes Buddy Holly and Elvis Costello.

However, I wasn’t really aware of that particular style’s popularity. Once again, I’d made a decision based on the style of musicians I admired and I made a choice that happened to be in style.

My lack of knowledge about what’s actually fashionable has occasionally led to some poor choices on my part. It wasn’t until about halfway through my college career that I learned jean shorts are such a faux pas.

The vitriol directed toward jean shorts is usually reserved for a target worthy of such derision, like mass murderers and the people who canceled “Arrested Development.”

Yet my dumbest mistakes have probably involved my hair.

I made a lot of poor decisions about my hairstyle in high school. I unintentionally sported a mullet for part of my freshman year. My barber asked me if I wanted to trim it up but still keep some of the length. That sounded fine to me.

When my younger brother saw my new hairdo he started laughing. I should have realized things were going to get ugly.

My classmates soon made me fully aware of the fact that I had a mullet. It wasn’t all that bad — a few of them nicknamed me A.C. Slater.

The worst hairstyle I’ve worn was the one I had my junior and senior years of high school.

Like many teenage males, I became enamored with classic rock and was inspired to grow my hair long. It was a mistake.

Looking at photos from that period make me cringe. I looked exactly like Meat Loaf circa “Bat Out Of Hell.” How could I not have realized how stupid I looked?

I’ve played it safe since my ill-advised long-haired high school days, opting for The Beatles haircut I’ve had most of the time since seventh grade.

My obsession with Neil Young has led me to add a new wrinkle to my current hairstyle: sideburns. Sideburns are still cool, right?