Column: Pledges dress to impress for fall

Ah, pledgeship. My favorite time of year.

Not only do herds of freshmen in suits remind us fall is in full swing, but the greek season significantly reduces the number of light-washed jeans and flip-flop ensembles to distract me during class.

Much like a caterpillar going through metamorphosis, by the end of pledgeship our little men will have transformed completely into the full-blown fraternity boy known so well today.

With enough Vineyard Vines and Ralph Lauren to clothe a small country, it is truly a North Jordan Avenue miracle.

They swarm Dunn Meadow in September in pursuit of brotherhood, still wearing sweatshirts from their high school senior football seasons.

From that point forward, the freshmen enter their tailored cocoons.

One by one they gain their wings — or, at least, their bids get signed.

The chrysalis is the most interesting part of the transformation.

It forces these young men to look at their lives and their choices.

They wake up every morning asking, “Can I wear my brown leather shoes or my black leather with this blue suit?”

Or, “Does this shade of orange tie compliment the green in my eyes?”

If I could speak to these inner monologues, I would let the little pledge know that I could tolerate the tailored-suit-with-Sperrys look.

It’s not ideal, but I can compromise. As long as he continues to avoid the long-sleeved shirt and basketball jersey combo hidden in the back of his closet.

The masses of men in suits also give outsiders the illusion we all attend a televised, elite prep school with a show choir featuring Darren Criss.

Show off to your out-of-town friends and say, “Look! We all take school and fashion very seriously here.”

That is, until you get pushed to the ground by a pledge on a Razor scooter, and your illusion is shattered.

In just a few short months, the scooter bandit will emerge with his brothers, looking like they belong in a J. Crew magazine spread.

If you’ve never seen these strange creatures come out of hiding, head to Herman B Wells Library on a weekday evening.

Good luck avoiding the frat bros.

­— mwalschl@indiana.edu