'Commencement': Six rays of hope

I have been quite surprised by response received from my column last Friday entitled “Why I won’t be at commencement,” in which I decry the majority of the IU student body in 1000 words, offer no argument nor solution to the problem I was pointing out.

It was a hastily written column that was encouraged and applauded by only positive feedback in my email inbox. I never read idsnews.com commenters, but I’m sure that, as always, they were glowing, complimentary letters of recommendation.

I still stand by everything I said in the column, and I’m glad to be moving on from a school that I felt fell below the standards of my academic expectations.

I would, however, like to offer a ray of hope for those that read the column thinking “Hey, I’m the student who doesn’t identify with all the other students here.”

I would like to reach out to any individual who feels isolated by IU, who has trouble making friends here and who wishes, perhaps, that they went to another school.

My only mistake in writing the prior column is that I seem to suggest that there is no hope for the group of people like me that fails to feel included in the student body. I’d like to amend that with a list. Because I love lists.

1. If at first, you are lonely, be patient. Loneliness is a freedom that allows you to revel in self-thought, evaluate yourself and come to terms with what it is you want. If you can be alone with yourself and be comfortable, you’ll be even better at being alone with others.

2. Seek non-IU programming. Despite what advisors might have you think, there isn’t an IU sponsored group for everyone, at least not one that is run well. Do some Googling and find interests within the community through events and interest groups that are Bloomington-sponsored. There’s a whole world of non-students that is thriving, exciting and living outside the bubble.

3. If you feel hopeless — if you feel like you don’t have the chance at relating to those that surround you, stick it out. It took me almost a year to find a friend niche that fit me, and yes, that does mean you’ll have some trial-and-error friends: “First Pancake Friends,” I like to call them.

4. Hang in there. Ditching class, refusing to meet people and shutting yourself in are not solutions to the problem of the IU isolate. I’ve come to meet the friends I have now because I continued to say “yes” to things, despite my hesitations.

5. The bars are not the only social platform in existence at IU. A bar is a great place to chat with a group of friends or dance the night away, but many use it as a crutch. Bored? Go to the bars. I say “nay.” We’ve come so far in our time here at IU, and we should be able to entertain ourselves without the use of expensive, crowded, loud, socially-stunting establishments. Go camping. Have a barbeque. Get drunk around a campfire. Host a beer pong tournament, a wine-savvy dinner party or a slumber part. Anything but the bars.

6. You are not IU. You are you. Just because you go here, does not mean you have to feel as school spirited as everyone else. Sometimes IU gear and basketballs games make you feel self-conscious about the fact that you’re not excited as everyone else about our “Hoosier Nation.” It’s worth it to see an IU sporting event, but never do so if you’re pretending to be someone you’re not.