Happy Father's Day, Mom

Father’s Day is approaching and I have no idea what to get my mom.

This has been a joke between my sister and I for years. We always get weird looks, because obviously you don’t get your mother a gift for Father’s Day.

It’s a matter of gender role versus the actual role.

Advertisements choose to focus on gender roles.

Think of all the corny commercials that recycle on our televisions during May encouraging us to buy jewelry and expensive chocolates that ruin our moms’ diets. And in June it’s all about new tool kits and car wash passes.

Women like bracelets and men like screwdrivers, so that’s what we should buy.

But if we go by just the role itself, I’d be shopping in the wrong section.

In the “typical” family dynamic, mothers are the nurturers and fathers are the fixers.

Well, I just watched my mom change a flat tire on my car with a tire iron in one hand and a beer in the other, so you tell me which role she fits.

There could be a small catch to my particular situation: my mom is a single mother.

She’s been married and divorced twice and has had plenty of in-and-out boyfriends. But for the majority of my 19 years, she has played both mother and father to me.

This is what happens in most single-parent households. When one is missing, the other tries to fill both pairs of shoes. And yes, it’s twice the work, so they deserve twice the credit.

I’m not saying that if you have a single father that you should go buy him a bouquet of roses and a charm bracelet for Mother’s Day — unless he likes flowers and bracelets — but if he fills the role of a mother a new set of pots and pans would be nice. Maybe do an epic house cleaning. Get or do something that says “I love you Dad, and thanks for being a great mom, too.” And then get him something awesome for Father’s Day too.

The family dynamic is evolving. There are more stay-at-home dads and women are becoming more independent. Some households have two dads or two moms. It’s time that Mother’s Day and Father’s Day evolve too.

The point of these days is to show appreciation for our parents and what they do for us. Gender, tradition and the media shouldn’t limit what we choose to give to show our gratitude.

­— lnbanks@indiana.edu