Helicopter parents

College allows a lot of freedom compared to high school. But before freshmen can get used to curfew-free lives, they have the freedom of deciding how much access to give their parents to their college lives.

OneStart has a third-party access setting that students can assign to any person, such as a parent or guardian.

It grants that person access to the student’s information including grades, unofficial transcripts, class schedules and personal information such as addresses and phone numbers.

Students can assign third-party access to as many people as they wish so both Mom and Dad can keep tabs on their child’s grades.

But some students might choose not to allow third-party access to anyone — and that can create tension.

Environmental science major Kate Drass said her parents left the decision to her, and while she allowed them access she kept her grades private.

“With grades specifically, it’s about letting go of control,” she said. “It’s the kid’s responsibility now.”

Drass said keeping that information inaccessible to her parents has actually helped with communication about academics.

“They’ll ask, but we have that communication that I can say I might not be doing so well in one class,” she said. “I feel more willing to talk about it with them. If we have that communication rather than them having direct access to my grades, it’s better for us.”

Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) has similar advice for parents when dealing with letting go of complete access to their child’s life.

Regular communication about expectations can make it easier to avoid tension with your child, according to the CAPS website.

If parents assume their child will want to give them access to every financial and academic detail but their child assumed that access stopped at high school graduation, communicating why each party felt that way can help.

“Parents need to realize their kids are in college now,” Drass said. “It’s all about growing up and becoming responsible.”

At IU, career counselors contend the trend of helicopter parents is far from the norm.
Still, some departments now offer online resources especially tailored for parents wanting extra information.

In the Kelley School of Business, the Undergraduate Career Services Office has added a parents’ page to the website that lists frequently asked questions and gives a timetable that shows a student’s career path.
It’s very similar to the Career Development Center, which also added a page for parents with tips on how they can help their children from a safe distance.

Jan Nickless, senior associate director at the Career Development Center, said that while parents are more involved today, she says parent involvement can be a positive aspect for students.

“If parents can just provide the support while the student is getting a degree and provide information and help build the student up and help them gain their own confidence and their own independence, in the end that’s the role of the parent,” she said.