When ignorance really is bliss

Since I began reading George R.R. Martin’s “A Song of Ice and Fire” (the series upon which TV’s “Game of Thrones” is based), I have been living my life in constant terror.

The reason?
 
Spoilers are all around.

In the age of Netflix and file sharing and social networks, everyone has unprecedented access to all forms of media and powerful means to share what they watch with everyone they know.

So for people like me who cannot abide knowing what happens in a TV show or book before I get to it, the world is a minefield.

Here are some strategies you can use to maintain your sweet blissful ignorance.
The first is common sense: Stay away from social networks. If you know you can’t watch a show when it airs, you have no option but to hide. Set the DVR if you’ve got one, log out of Facebook and Twitter and give it some time until reactions die down.

The sooner you can catch up the better, unless you’re okay being disconnected for extended periods of time.

The most effective option is bingeing. Watch or read as much as you possibly can as quickly as you can manage. Normally I don’t condone this method of taking in media, as it’s much harder to appreciate a series if you watch it all at once. But if there’s a particularly juicy spoiler that’s out to get you, this might be the best option. If there’s nothing left to be spoiled, you’re in the clear.

Third, avoid those who you know can’t keep their mouth shut. Everyone’s got a friend who doesn’t think before speaking, giving away twists as soon as you mention a movie’s name. These people are evil, and you should not encourage them.

Finally, be alert. If you can’t bring yourself to stay offline and don’t have time to catch up, keep an eye out for keywords. If and when you see one, close the page. If you’re with friends and you hear one, plug your ears and start whistling. There’s no dignity in it, but if you’re like me it’s far preferable to learning your favorite character was offed.
 
It’s also important to be considerate when the shoe is on the other foot. If you feel the need to live-tweet the season finale of something, at least give a heads up. If you can’t resist the urge to vent your fury/joy/incredulity, try not to do it explicitly. It’s not your obligation to protect everyone from spoilers, but it’s a decent thing to do.

As for me, I’ll just keep plugging away at these books and running away shamelessly whenever I hear the words Stark or Lannister. Spoilers abound, but they’re not inevitable.

­— sreddiga@indiana.edu