Student invites hero to promote acceptance

Kaleb Crain stood — arms outstretched like Christ on the cross — behind campus sidewalk preacher Brother Micah Armstrong.

In bold black marker his right arm read, “I’m gay,” and his left, “God loves me.”
An hour passed and a group of six students took turns supporting his arms and wiping the tears from his eyes.

According to Crain, Armstrong called him out earlier that afternoon in early 2012, shouting, “The young man in the wheelchair is being punished for homosexual sins in a past life.”

Shocked and frustrated, Crain couldn’t let it go.

“I went off to my room, put on every single thing I had that was rainbow or tied to gay pride,” he said. “The only thing I was missing was a pride flag to use as a cape.”

He then grounded himself behind the preacher for several hours, completely silent.

“Words can crucify,” Crain said. “You have to think before you speak.”

The experience left a lasting impression on Crain, and motivated him seek out a source of positive energy to bring to campus.

He decided to dedicate the next year and a half to organizing a speaker he knew would inspire students.

Judy Shepard was his top choice. 

“She is my hero,” he said.

 * * *
On a Thursday afternoon in late September, Crain, an IU junior, sits in Wright food court, eating a turkey wrap.

It had been one of those days, he said — a rough one.

He planned to usher at the IU Auditorium that night, but realized upon arriving he had his dates confused. The stress of fall semester classes was piling up while his phone vibrated with Facebook notifications and emails.

Crain is a full-time student majoring in secondary education. He was also in charge of orchestrating Judy Shepard’s visit to the IU Bloomington campus.

Shepard is a nationally known speaker who advocates the prevention of hate crimes. Her son, Matthew, was the victim of a murder motivated by anti-gay hate in 1998.

“Students will see that she is fighting for a larger issue and only using LGBTQIA issues as a lens,” Crain said. “She knows that if she can make it better for one community, then that community is going to make it better for another community.”

By April 2013, Crain raised the $12,000 needed to bring Shepard to IU.

“It told me that this was meant to happen,” Crain said. “Everything else just flowed like butter.”

The funds came from multiple sponsors, including the School of Education and the Office of First Year Experience.

Because of an estate gift donated to the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Student Support Services office, Director Doug Bauder said the office donated $5,000, by far the largest contribution Crain received.

“We can’t control other’s bigotry, but we can control how we respond to it,” Bauder said. “There’s almost always something you can do, something positive and creative, and that’s the nature of Kaleb Crain.”

Shepard was set to speak at IU on April 10, 2013. The morning of the scheduled event, Shepard canceled the talk due to a snow storm in her hometown.

He had prepared for this day for six months, but he would have to wait another six before meeting Shepard.

“Initially I was crushed,” he said.

But she gave Crain a rain check, immediately rescheduling the event.

And it all came together Tuesday night.

* * *

Crain, fixing his black tie, was almost speechless as Judy walked toward him at the pre-talk reception.

“Happy birthday, Kaleb,” Judy Shepard said to him.

Today Crain turns 21, the same age Matthew Shepard was at the time of his death.
He didn’t say much to her. He couldn’t connect words to his feelings.

The hero he had read about and brought to campus was finally here.

Judy’s ability to use the tragedy of her son’s death as a vehicle for change inspires him to speak out against intolerance, he said.

“I was born with cerebral palsy and confined to a wheelchair my entire life,” Crain said. “I’m finally able to find the positives in that because of Judy and Matthew’s story.”

They shook hands, and he introduced her to his mother, Beth Crain.

Beth Crain sat beside him in the front row at Tuesday night’s event.

She wiped the tears from her eyes as Judy acknowledged her son’s accomplishment.

“This was all you, Kaleb,” Judy said.