IU researchers connect love, sex in gay and bisexual relationships

Researchers from IU and George Mason University have teamed up to finally answer the question of whether or not a connection exists between love and sex.

More specifically, they studied what love has to do with sex in regards to gay and bisexual men. Lead researcher Josh Rosenberger said he wanted to go beyond the typical study of diseases related to sex involving two men and study the emotions
connected to the sexual acts.

“This study taps into elements of sexuality I think are often not asked about or forgotten,” Rosenberger said. “It’s important to think about the roles other components associated with sex, like love, play on individual behavior choices and decisions.”

Rosenberger said he hopes this type of research can add a new level of dialogue to current conversations about sexual orientation.

“We’re increasingly talking about these people in contexts outside the bedroom and focusing on marriage and adoption,” Rosenberger said. “These studies show love is a universal thing that’s not gendered or based on sexual orientation.”

Rosenberger said two findings from the study stood out to him.

First was the concept of matching couples. The survey asked respondents if they loved their partner and if their partner loved them.  The study found that over 90 percent of respondents gave the same answer for both questions.

“I thought there would be more non-congruent answers,” Rosenberger said. “I thought there would be more, ‘Yeah, I like him, but I don’t know if he likes me.’”

The second discovery from the study that stood out to Rosenberger suggested it could be possible for people to be in love with more than one person at a time.

“The way we talk about love is that it’s one person that you love until you break up or they die,” Rosenberger said. “We were seeing people in a relationship engaging in sexual behavior with someone else and saying that they loved that person.”

Rosenberger said the idea of loving multiple people at the same time is taboo, which he said he found odd.

“We can say I hate multiple people or I’m angry at multiple people at the same time,” Rosenberger said. “But we don’t do that with romantic love.”

To conduct the study, Rosenberger paired with Online Buddies, an online site that matches men who are seeking other men for relationships or friendships. The study was sent out to Online Buddies users to find participants, and the response was overall positive.

“Some give feedback like, ‘Wow, people have never asked these questions. It’s refreshing to see them,’” Online Buddies representative David Novak said. “People are very pleased to see we’re doing this as a company.”

Novak said Online Buddies wanted to help fill critical research gaps the federal government hasn’t studied.

“We as a company don’t benefit financially at all,” Novak said. “One might say we do this as our corporate social responsibility.”

Novak said to find the results of this study, people can visit mensnationalsexstudy.com.

The team also plans to study other emotional issues related to sex, such as different kinds of love and trust.

“It’s not just about two men or women having sex,” Rosenberger said. “It’s about how they feel about each other, which is a very human thing.”

Follow reporter Suzanne Grossman on Twitter @suzannepaige6.