Author discusses finding, researching ‘Dragon Lady’

Imagine walking door to door around Paris, asking if an elderly Vietnamese woman lives in some building, using only an old mailing address as a guide.

That’s exactly what Monique Demery did to find South Vietnam’s former first lady Madame Nhu.

Author Monique Brinson Demery spoke Wednesday at the Indiana Memorial Union about her book, “Finding the Dragon Lady: The Mystery of Vietnam’s Madame Nhu.”

“I sort of just fell into the story of Madame Nhu,” Demery said. “I thought that she hadn’t been given a fair shot in history.”

The book details the seven years Demery had contact with Madame Nhu and provides a personal history of the Dragon Lady, one of the most controversial figures of the Vietnam War.

A derogatory term used to describe Asian women who don’t adhere to societal norms, Demery said the title of Dragon Lady certainly applied to Madame Nhu, a woman who refused to be the “perfect housewife.” 

After receiving a degree in Asian Studies from Hobart and William Smith Colleges, Demery was already interested in the history of Vietnam by the time she had started her search for Madame Nhu. Demery said she found an old letter Madame Nhu had written in an archive, and decided to look for her in Paris on a whim.

“I went to all the buildings around the Eiffel Tower and asked people if an old Vietnamese lady lived there,” Demery said. “Eventually one security guard said, ‘No, she lives next door.’”

From that point on, Demery kept in contact with Madame Nhu, who eventually gave Demery her memoirs to read.

Madame Nhu was a prominent figure in the Vietnam War. As the first lady of South Vietnam, she took it upon herself to host parties and gained a strong political reputation. She’s particularly well known for the morality laws she enacted in South Vietnam. These laws prohibited handholding, dancing and other similar activities, in an effort to stop women from being viewed as sex symbols. She also established a women’s militia to provide protection when the men were out fighting in the Vietnam War.

But the ambitious Madame Nhu eventually became a hermit.

“By the time I found Madame Nhu, she wasn’t leaving her house for fear of people recognizing her,” Demery said. “I basically stalked her to find where she lived.”

Similar to Demery’s search for Madame Nhu was IU Professor Ashley Hasty’s journey of getting Demery to IU.

“I tweeted Monique one day, just saying that I was reading her book,” Hasty said. “And I was so surprised when she responded.”

Demery agreed to Skype with Hasty’s book club, which included IU Professor Debby Herbenick. Herbenick said she continued emailing with Demery and eventually invited her to IU.

“I’m very interested in people’s lives and personal relationships,” Herbenick said. “And that’s why I loved this book so much.”

Madame Nhu’s personal history gave Demery much to write about, Demery said. She said she thought Madame Nhu was feisty and determined, but was overbearing with her ideas.

In her talk, Demery asked the audience to consider their own view on Madam Nhu.
“Was Nhu a dragon lady or a woman ahead of her time?” Demery said.