ScHoolboy Q: Pull an outfit from the lyrics and don’t wear red

Two weeks ago, Union Board announced ScHoolboy Q as the headliner of this year’s Little 500 concert via Twitter.

It was followed by a strand of something along the lines of “Le Go” spelled with too many vowels (Leeee Goooo) and us Indiana girls, all accustomed to the EDM shows, asking, “Well, what do I wear to this shindig?”

I’d like to solve the dilemma, too. We have eight days, and there’s some crucial details I must share. Let’s begin.

So, ScHoolboy Q credited 50 Cent in a 2012 interview for basically “birthing” his whole style, but he wasn’t talking fashion. Nonetheless, 50 Cent is a New Yorker and

ScHoolboy Q is a South Central LAer. That gives us some initial context. We might be Midwest, but we’re dressing like the coasts.

I asked Wesley Ring for his concert-wear advice. He’s from neither city, but I vouch for his credible taste. He’s also a first-place teammate in this year’s Little 500 Quals and retweeted the ScHoolBoy Q announcement without having to Google him first like most of y’all. He replied, “Tie dye. And bucket hats.”

Well, it’s not far off. The 27-year-old rapper is infamous for his numerous sportings of bucket hats. In fact, the rapper joked in a recent BET interview that he’s been offered so much money for his endorsement of bucket hat brands (they exist), that he was considering releasing his own brand.

Until then, Top Dawg Entertainment is offering a limited edition Oxymoron Bucket Hat, named after the rappers’ 2014 album release. Also available is the Oxymoron Ski Mask Beanie, though an asterisk warns buyers should expect some delays because of the high volume of orders.

I can’t help but to hope that’s a joke or a misprint. Not everything you read, after all, is true. For example, ScHoolboy Q called out scholarly source Wikipedia for getting the city he was born in in Germany wrong. Unfortunately, all the other reports on him seem accurate, including his branding as a felon. And though he won’t go into details, he tells people not to worry because “it wasn’t a sexual thing.”

Yep, he’s another rapper, ex-dealer con who has been gang-banging since age 12 with the Crips. So, I finally give you a solid piece of advice. Don’t wear red. And he might take offense to anything resembling an orange jumpsuit, too. Let’s continue.

ScHoolBoy Q’s personally warned one of his Twitter followers, “mosHpits dnt wear Heels r a dress.” So add those to your list and start to consider the possibility that the only real style preference this guy has is bucket hats and capitalizing the
letter “h.”

But apparently it’s good advice as one follower tweeted in response, “I learned to bulk up on clothes when I got bruises on my ribs from your moshpit in DC 2012 L.”
She didn’t get a response, and I can only assume it was because she forgot to capitalize “h,” but her warning stands.

Though his performance won’t get too out of hand in the too-organized rows of the IU Auditorium, we all remember the Mac Miller and Passion Pit incidents in the past, despite security’s plans to keep everything under control.

What you can do is wear something you most likely haven’t worn already. While in London, I was interning at an entertainment firm that represented Theophilus London and got the chance to attend a few underground shows of the similar genre where “s” is commonly replaced with ‘$’ like A$ap and Curren$y. A safe bet, make a fashion statement that’s similar to the one being lyrically preached.

Q mentions Concords, Cortez’s, Chuck Taylors, expensive tees, chains and rings. It’s a start. I’d take further inspiration from a few hip hop brands like Billionaire Boys Club, Freshko and River Island Collection or House of Deréon for the ladies. But mix it with something not outright branded like Australian-born Coogi or Norse Projects out of Denmark. Check out the site Goodhoodstore.com.

Ladies, try something you haven’t, but respect your personal style. Dying to wear heels? Look into New York’s Be&D’s Big City sneaker collection that has painted those beloved platforms on a side of high tops. Again, do take points from lyrics and go gaudy with your own jewelry. And don’t buy hoops, often tacky and apparently dangerous in mosHpits.

Locally, now that Dope Couture has closed shop, your options are slim. Maybe Zumiez, maybe Charlotte Russe? Probably not. Get online, or make friends with that cool LAer/NYer in your class. You’ve got a week before, in ScHoolboy’s own lyrics, “all the college students loving Q.”

Not if I can’t find anything to wear. Kidding. Enjoy.