In a small apartment east of campus, 22-year-old Raven Lagenour walks across the living room. The top surface of each of her bare feet displays a tattoo of a skull head. Her nose is pierced by a single ring, and her hair is bright pink.
It’s Friday afternoon, and Raven is home with the kids. Meika, almost 2, toddles over to her, box of crayons in hand. “Princess color,” the girl announces.
“How about a puzzle, do you want to do a puzzle?” Raven asks. The human family development major doesn’t have class on Fridays, but she does have a paper due at midnight. Her husband, Alex, works two jobs to support the family. After graduating high school in Avon, Ind., Raven started college with the rest of her class.
She met Alex while the pair worked at Wright Food Court. She changed her major after sophomore year, meaning she would not be graduating on time. She was also pregnant.
Raven took the first semester of her would-be junior year off from classes. She married Alex, who already had a daughter, Sophie, almost 4 — now Raven’s stepdaughter.
She took another year off so Alex could finish college. She also had their second child.
This is her second return to classes. “My goal is to graduate college before my sister does,” Raven says. “She’s three years younger than me. I’m kind of on a deadline now. It’s different. All your friends in college have moved away and graduated.”
***
Raven feels out of place on campus. She identifies more with people in their late 30s than college kids in their early 20s. “When you go back to class and look the same age, people don’t tend to assume you have more going on,” she says.
She’ll see kids jaywalk and silently judge them. Unlike those who line up outside Kilroy’s on Kirkwood every Thursday, she hasn’t been to a bar since she turned 21. She can’t relate.
“I thought a lot of the college culture was stupid even when I was a part of it,” she says.
She wouldn’t change where she is now. She is content spending time with the kids and just being a mother. It’s frustrating when people think she is missing out on something. Or people who don’t understand. “I’ve had two kids and am the same age as the girls walking around campus in the short shorts and tank tops, and I’m not that,” Raven says.
Despite her minimal links to other students, Raven tends to connect with the content of her classes. She participates. Her family situation gives her a compelling reason to do so. “You know that obnoxious person who shares too much, like, in every class? Sometimes I think I’m that person, and not intentionally,” Raven says.
She called her husband when she was at the doctor’s office with the kids and the form she was filling out asked for race/ethnicity. Alex identifies as biracial, but his mother, who lives in Mexico, identifies as white. She wasn’t sure which to choose. “I definitely have different opinions or viewpoints than a lot of people,” Raven says.
***
It’s a Wednesday night. Raven has just finished breastfeeding and burping Emery, 4 months. She’s taken a vacuum to Meika’s clothes and high chair, sucking up the remnants of rice. She sits cross-legged on the couch and grabs the remote control.
“What’s on TV tonight?” After flipping through channels, Raven decides on Netflix. “What do you want to watch? ‘Avengers’? ‘Emperor’s New Groove’?”
“Groove,” Meika responds.
Emery naps in her carrier on the couch. Meika lies down on her semicircular pillow. “I can’t do homework, though,” Raven says. “She won’t let me work. If I had books in my hands, she would not be watching this movie.”
The timer to the oven goes off. Raven’s homemade lime cookies have just finished baking.
“I think, particularly with school, you learn how precious time is,” Raven says. She remembers when she was able to take naps. She put off papers until the day before. Now, it’s not by choice. She only has a few hours in which she can finish assignments. “Procrastination is a requirement,” she says.
***
Raven takes 12 credit hours so she can balance her home and school life. She hasn’t read anything for pleasure in three years. There isn’t much time for hobbies, but she is able to take her mom responsibilities and make them something fun.
New ideas for crafts come to her from Pinterest. She spent three months planning Meika’s second birthday. She even sent handmade invitations. Raven chooses organic vegetables with care. Her goal is to make meals more colorful.
“If you know you aren’t going to have time to do anything else, you might as well enjoy what you’re doing,” she says.
Raven originally chose IU because it was somewhat close to her family. She has two sisters, 19 and 10, and a brother, 7. She wanted to have a relationship with the two younger siblings, and IU gave her that chance. Her mother, stepdad, and the two youngest now live in Louisville, Ky.
The family doesn’t like to talk on the phone. Raven had trouble staying in touch with them, so they began having biweekly dinners, alternating between Bloomington and Louisville. Raven, Alex, and the kids also see Alex’s family in Green County, Ind., about as often.
Raven and Alex do not have many friends in Bloomington. It’s hard to have friends with children so young. Getting involved with the Bloomington community has been a challenge. “I barely have time to have a marriage, let alone other friendships,” Raven says.
Once Raven finishes school, the couple doesn’t plan on moving away, just into a bigger house. They want to own land, raise chickens, tend a garden. Her stepdaughter is also nearby.
“It’s got a nice community and earthy people,” Raven says. “It’s got a lot of culture and diversity that I like if you can get over the college atmosphere.”
Bloomington’s “naturalistic community” allows the Lagenours to have a lot of things they want. Raven had a home birth with Emery. Breastfeeding in public is more accepted than elsewhere. People in Bloomington are more open-minded.
***
Raven is behind on reading for class. She isn’t worried. It’ll only take a couple hours to complete. She’s waiting for Alex to get off work so she can pick him up at 1 a.m. The kids will be in bed.
Raven and Alex want six kids. Though their plan was to wait until they had both graduated college, Raven was not upset when she got pregnant.
Now, the couple is hoping to create a more stable situation for themselves. She has four semesters left after this one. She still would like to attend graduate school for counseling.
“Being a homemaker is my life,” Raven says. “I love it.”
