Grade: F
When a good horror film hits theaters, it’s like an event, an anomaly in the annals of cinema.
Such is the 2013 film “The Conjuring.” It was everything that a horror film should be. It was subtle, with clever and innovative cinematography, had exceptional acting by superbly cast actors and, well, was actually scary.
That’s a massive achievement in modern horror, considering the competition it was up against.
Then, a spin-off of the film was announced, namely about the haunted doll, Annabelle, that appears very briefly in “The Conjuring.”
Now, when a spin-off exists, it rarely turns out well, if at all. Anyone remember “ Joey ” from “Friends”?
How about every single actor in every awful reality show?
No? Good.
“Annabelle” resides directly in that realm of entertainment.
The film, like anything director/producer James Wan has done, including “ Saw” and “ Insidious ,” had potential. It had great potential, even.
Unfortunately, like most of his works, the payoff of “Annabelle” smashes into a concrete wall at the speed of light after being laced with nitroglycerin.
“Annabelle” is a traditional horror film in the worst way imaginable.
With very few exceptions, the film consists of the camera slowly zooming in on the plastic abomination, accompanied by unsettling violins, obviously.
It’s full of cliched moments with predictable resolutions that you can see from space and ham-fisted dialogue unworthy enough to be included in daytime soap operas.
Not only is Annabelle hilariously evil-looking and over the top, the second half of the film follows suit in its absurdity.
The scariest, or rather saddest, thing about “Annabelle” is that not only does it abruptly change from a horror show into a spoof of itself near the end, but it maintains a dead-serious straight face throughout all of its idiocy and incompetence.
It’s almost like one big prank that some brat pulled on the director by writing the most cringe-inducing climax ever put on film.
It’s depressing to think that many underrated horror films such as “Afflicted” or “Grave Encounters” never get the wide-release treatment they deserve, whereas “Annabelle” would fit rather comfortably as a direct-to-DVD release.
Even then, that would be a waste of plastic and effort.
However, as far as comedic value goes, look no further than “Annabelle.”
