During my last group trip with my program last week, we had a moment that sparked a debate on verbal sexual harassment.
Yes, I’ve been seeing a lot of articles recently on verbal sexual harassment. No, I don’t mean to be the millionth person writing about how angry it makes me to be catcalled.
Catcallers. Creeps. These men have a plethora of names attributed to them and their widely known forte: objectifying women.
While I’ve been here in Santiago, I have been the victim of some pretty outlandish catcalling. Whistling, kissing noises and phrases of the most endearing quality have graced my ears on several occasions.
I cannot personally attest to the reactions of millions of women who experience this on a daily basis, but from my observations, I have noticed several commonly used methods of reaction: ignoring, laughing it off, flipping the bird, etc.
I typically favor the ignoring method because what is my getting angry about it going to do, I always think. What can I do to change what has just happened?
What can I do to change the social environment these men have grown up in, the environment that has taught them it’s okay to treat women this way?
Truth is, I’ve thought long and hard about this. And I’ve come to one conclusion.
The change starts with me. With you. With everyone.
The responsibility for teaching young people the idea of respect for one another lies in a parent’s hand, in the world surrounding a young mind, in the social interactions people experience day to day.
There are so many factors influencing each and every one of us, and I’m a part of those influencing factors. Everyone is.
Though I’ve experienced the dreaded catcalls in Santiago, I’ve also witnessed some incredible shows of respect that I’ve never seen in the United States.
I’ve seen young men sprint over to a woman with a child and carry the child in its stroller up a long flight of stairs in the metro for the young mother.
I’ve seen young men and women helping the elderly board a bus or cross the street.
I’ve experienced this kindness myself, as I finished an exhausting hike one day and received a ride back into town from an older gentleman who had done the same hike. It was a walk that would’ve taken me 45 minutes.
They give huge amounts of time to complete strangers and expect nothing in return for their kindness.
I can only hope to lead by example like these individuals. I want to demonstrate the idea of respect I talk about and hold on a very high pedestal, by being respectful myself to everyone around me.
The whole world may not be watching me, but there’s always somebody watching. Whether it is my classmates at IU or here in Santiago, whether it is my host mother’s granddaughter Augustina, whether it is my host mother herself, someone is always watching.
Though it may not be a real solution, the only thing I can think of to sum this all up is something my mother always told me, a biblical phrase when I was being mean to my brother, angry at someone, jealous of a classmate, etc.
Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you.
Though I may not be able to control what others do, I can control what I do.
Maybe someday, everyone will have a mutual respect for one another. Maybe someday, there will be love and understanding for every single person in this world.
I think that would be a pretty dang good world to be part of.
makholla@indiana.edu
