I’ve seen the bit several times at open mics and IU comedy shows.
Comedian Jordan Mather-Licht jokes about a trip to Planned Parenthood and an STD scare that, thankfully, is just a scare.
The bit consistently scores laughs from the audience but not before we all have a big ol’ gasp.
Sex? Planned Parenthood? Sexually transmitted diseases? How shocking!
What’s truly shocking is that more people don’t get tested.
The average American has had multiple partners. Women claim about four and men claim six to eight in their lifetimes.
With those partners we’re likely to go without or misuse protection.
The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction reports that singles use condoms only 33 percent of the time during vaginal penetration.
And when condoms are used, they are too often used improperly.
Users don’t leave space at the tip, fail to use a new condom in between sex acts or simply forget to put a condom on before they start ?having sex.
The average American first has sex by age 17, according to the Guttmacher Institute.
The average American lives to be about 78 years old, according to the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development.
With an optimistic 67 years of furiously unsafe lovemaking to catch something, we best be going to Planned Parenthood on the regular.
Half of all Americans contract some sort of sexually transmitted disease or infection in the course of their lives.
Getting tested is an uncomfortable prospect because societal expectations do not match reality.
Most of us won’t wait until we’re married to have sex. Most of us will have multiple partners.
And most of us will misuse contraception on at least one occasion.
For many of us, who are products of federally funded abstinence-only sex education programs, that failure to live up to expectations embarrasses us.
We’re less likely to seek medical attention and more likely to feel bad about our sexuality.
Getting tested shouldn’t be a big deal, and it doesn’t have to be. Make it part of your routine.
Add STD testing to yearly gynecological exams, a sports physical or a check-up. I got tested the last time I renewed my birth control prescription.
Insurance will often cover the cost.
If you don’t have insurance, many family planning clinics such as Planned Parenthood or Futures Family Planning have sliding scales that make tests more ?affordable.
If yearly tests prove too costly or annoying, Planned Parenthood has an online tool that can help assess whether or not you should get tested soon.
You can find it at plannedparenthood.org/all-access/check .
When the tests come back negative, it’s a relief.
When the tests come back positive, it’s not the end of the world.
Some of the most common STDs are easily cured, such as chlamydia and gonorrhea. Even highly stigmatized infections such as herpes are manageable with drugs and behavioral changes.
An HIV diagnosis is no longer a death sentence but rather a chance to reduce the virus’ health effects and stem its spread.
People who contract STDs aren’t dirty or morally bankrupt. They’re just unlucky, at worst a little irresponsible and usually fine in the end.
Stop stigmatizing STDs and STD testing. The next time someone tells you they got tested, hold the gasps — it’s time for a round of ?applause.
casefarr@indiana.edu
