I happen to enjoy a little bit of reality TV now and then. I know it breaks the stereotype that men don’t enjoy such things.
But sometimes a little “Vanderpump Rules” or the “Real World” can be a nice end to the day.
“The Bachelor” isn’t in my normal lineup of shows, but I know what it’s about. And I have probably seen a couple dozen episodes during my life.
This Sunday, it premiered a two-hour special and, since my girlfriend had turned it on and then fallen asleep, I figured I would stay up and watch it.
At first I was mildly entertained, certainly enough to realize why the show is so popular. However, towards the end of the special, I began to notice something alarming.
As I imagined my girlfriend in the position of female contestant or myself as the male contestant, I was shocked with how unhealthy and objectifying the situation was in whole.
You have a group of women who have become friends, live in the same house, hang out and get to know each other rather intimately, and then at the same time they compete for the attention and ?affection of one man.
In order for the show to remain interesting, the man can never give too much affirmation or validation and the women simply have to bear their feelings and wait. It almost feels like cattle show.
The women are paraded around and showcased until the end when the male contestant can finally determine who is best in show, so to speak.
The emotional turmoil this creates is celebrated, of course, because this is what the producers want. It’s more ?entertaining.
I grew up in a place that systematically ?oppressed women.
Women were bought at marriage, and they could be publicly beaten at the husband’s whim, to give a couple of examples of the depravity.
Thankfully, due to the work of the nonprofit my parents worked for, this practice is slowly but surely ending, This means I know what extreme abuse looks like and a TV show is far from it. However, that doesn’t mean the show isn’t ?dangerous.
We hear so much about “Fifty Shades of Grey” or any other number of high profile instances of media that propagate an unhelpful and unhealthy message toward women, but I think it’s shows like “The Bachelor” that can be worse in some instances.
You see, they fly under the radar because their content isn’t graphic or novel.
They attract large audiences and people of all ages. There is no warning that comes with them and they don’t get talked about because no one is
offended.
I understand it is all just a show and the women know what they are getting themselves into when they sign up.
And as a man, I want to be careful pointing out instances of covert sexism, as I am sure the women can speak to this more accurately and better than I ever could. But I do care about this issue.
I do want it to go away, and I do feel we have a lot of work to do if we are ever going to surmount the cultural hurdles that face us. I think we need more than just bad reviews of “Fifty Shades of Grey.” I think we need a comprehensive look at what our culture really glorifies and who it objectifies.
And maybe, just maybe, shows like “The Bachelor” need to go away.
cgerst@indiana.edu
