Most weekends my friends are down to go out to the bars. A quick message to the group chat, and everyone is on board. Before we know it, we’re making our way to Kirkwood and sporting a new top and favorite shade ?of lipstick.
And with the so-called greatest college weekend in America upon us, I am sure this weekend won’t be any different. Hashtag ?never graduate.
However, there are some nights when you’re just not in the mood. The thought of drinking an AMF even makes you gag a little. And forking over $5 to pay the cover at Dunnkirk? That won’t be a hard pass, thank you ?very much.
And then there are the times when you’d rather just not do anything at all on a Saturday night. Binge-watching “Bob’s Burgers” while eating gobs of peanut butter out of the jar sounds so much more appealing.
Sound depressing? Well maybe spending some time alone is needed and also quite undervalued. Sometimes the pressure for students to go out and be social can be overwhelming in of itself.
Fear of missing out sets in, and we become conflicted. Do I go out with my friends or just chill by myself tonight? We lack the self-confidence to say we just want to have the night to ourselves.
I asked myself this very question this past Saturday evening. I kept changing my mind, unable to make a concrete decision. I’d been studying all day, so I just wanted to de-stress and go to sleep. I also wanted to be with my friends. So many of my closest friends will be graduating in May, which means our time together is limited; I don’t want to waste it staying at home by myself.
But maybe it just wasn’t in the cards for us that evening. On the walk downtown, one friend tripped on an uneven slab of concrete, ripping her sandal. This was clearly a bad omen, but we still went out.
We lasted about an hour at Upstairs Pub before calling it quits and heading home. It’s safe to say we’d have been much better off staying in and going to sleep instead.
I think we easily forget to appreciate that alone time. We forget to cherish it. If we spend all of our time constantly surrounded by other people, it becomes too easy to lose focus of who we are without anyone around.
Before coming to college, I’m not even sure if I knew FOMO existed. Now the thought of it is ?anxiety inducing.
And as an only child, I spent an awful amount of time on my own growing up. That’s not to say I didn’t have friends. I just didn’t have any friends who also happened to live with me, besides my dog. I did a lot of things on my own and never had a problem with it. In fact, I need to be alone sometimes. I love being around people, but there are times when I just need to re-energize myself without anyone around.
And I think knowing how to be comfortable being alone is so vital to our happiness. If we cannot make decisions on our own, we also cannot hope to ever ?be independent.
Staying in every now and then doesn’t mean you’re doing college all wrong. In fact, it means you’re probably doing something right. You can recognize when you want to go out and socialize, but you can also recognize when you’re just not into it. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
nrowthor@indiana.edu
