It’s that time of year again, folks.
Right after finals, we pack up and go home, ?wherever that might be.
Unless you’re going abroad or to some three-month tropical vacation, summer can be kind of a let down when you’re just coming off of the greatest college weekend ?in America.
I’ve dedicated this column to things we’ll miss in the Bloomington bubble that aren’t not the same in the “real world.”
Take $2 Tuesdays at ?Kilroy’s.
There will never be a bar in existence that will sell you beer, burgers, breadsticks or wings for $2.
It’s a godsend.
What will we be doing on Tuesday in the real world? Buying the reduced price half-pint of Ben and Jerry’s and heading home to binge-watch Netflix for the remainder of the evening.
In real life, curfew dramatically changes — the early mornings when you went to bed at 2 a.m. have become the evenings you fall asleep at 9 p.m. in your childhood bedroom.
There’s also this overwhelming expectation to be tan during the summer.
Unless you’re a lifeguard, the tannest you’ll be getting is when you use the darker emoji to send a thumbs up to your friends.
“Slap the bag” is now synonymous for snagging your brown-bagged lunch every morning before work.
This is a sad but true ?realization.
Days sometimes start in the dark, which is something we aren’t accustomed to in Bloomington.
Suddenly those grueling 8 a.m. classes seem like heaven when you’re boarding the subway at 7:30 a.m.
Going to Starbucks becomes a burden, especially if you’re an intern.
Juggling nine skim milk, triple-shot lattes at once is a true talent that needs to ?be acquired.
In the “real world,” things aren’t free. We’ll miss the Thursday shirts at Roy’s and the billions of other free T-shirts thrown at us by the clock tower. It was nice while it lasted.
Also, people aren’t ?as friendly.
Doors get slammed in your face, and people don’t apologize for stepping on your feet.
One thing that will get better, however, is ?public transportation.
There’s nothing worse than head-in-armpit ?contact on the B Bus.
During the summer we can’t use Campus Access to buy food, which means we’ll have to use real money.
Not that Campus Access isn’t real money; it just seems to be this magical card reloaded each month by tree fairies.
In actuality, that fairy is your mom.
In the real world, your parents exist.
Following rules when you get back home might seem like a nuisance, but it’s oddly comforting to hear your mother scream at you to clean up your bedroom and eat your green beans.
Work hard; play harder isn’t a thing in the ?real world.
Well maybe it is, but the “play” aspect is extremely toned down.
We’re used to pounding out homework and group projects during the day to go out and rage at night.
The biggest reward you’re going to get for doing your summer job during the day is having a hot meal instead of cereal at the end of your night.
On the bright side, we won’t be awake at one in the morning drunk-eating ?Pizza X.
jlkarl@indiana.edu
