British pop star Sam Smith recently spoke about his identity as a gay male and his struggle with his weight to Australia’s “60 Minutes.”
What was peculiar about this interview was that, according to Smith, “If someone called me fat, that affects me way more than someone calling me a faggot ... I think just because I’ve accepted that, if someone calls me a faggot, it’s like, I am gay and I’m proud to be gay so there’s no issues there.” Smith said. He added, “If someone calls you fat, that’s something I want to change; that is something I can change, so that ?affects me more.”
Smith is fortunate enough to be at a place in his life where his weight is more of an immediate concern than a word some gay men hear ?before being viciously attacked. Smith brings up a good point. It reflects a larger issue in the gay community that’s deeply ingrained.
Until recently, media have often portrayed us as sharply dressed, with chiseled abs, rich and white gay archetypes — somewhere between Nate Berkus and Magic Mike — made palatable to the straight, media-consuming masses.
Is there some truth to that stereotype? Sure. For centuries, gay men have faced violence and treatment as second-class citizens that surely led many wanting to be the more successful, better dressed, idealized image of what a man should be. Being fat doesn’t fit into ?that narrative.
One could argue we, ?consciously or subconsciously, are trying to “compensate” for something we shouldn’t have to — our masculinity. Our community has a long history of being emasculated by the straight majority because of our sexual orientation. Working out gives you a body, but it won’t make you a man. Being a man, gay or not, is the only way to do that.
We are creating a toxic environment in the community that undermines our preaching of tolerance and ostracizes men that might otherwise be active members of the gay community. Not to mention the unnecessary pressure the community is putting on young men coming to terms with their sexuality. We don’t need to add “straight skinny but gay fat” to their list ?of insecurities.
Gay men are already three times more likely to struggle with an eating disorder than their straight peers.
I’m by no means proposing we celebrate obesity or the sedentary lifestyle. Because whether gay or straight, living an active lifestyle is good for you. Should you have the will and means to do so, I say go for it. We do, after all, have our preferences.
But ultimately, being gay and overweight shouldn’t be the worst thing you can be in our community.
edsalas@indiana.edu
