The Wall Street Journal recently published an article, “The Office pet is a pig. No, really,” describing exotic pet owners pushing for the same rights as dog owners to bring their animals to pet friendly offices.
It’s theorized allowing pets at work will reduce stress and boost employee morale.
In said article, quotes were taken from parakeet, snake, ferret, butterfly and pig owners who enjoyed bringing their unusual companions to the workplace. Owners laughed off their experiences when their bird pooped all over their desk during a video conference call or when their snake defiantly coiled around an office chair.
Someone seriously said, “I would love an ostrich,” and proceeded to say they would like to bring the bird to work. Never mind ostriches can disembowel and kill you with a single blow from their feet.
These are not cute stories to share at Sunday brunch. They are signs to stop bringing your animals to work.
Don’t assume my reluctance to agree with these policies is a prejudice against exotic animals. The only pet you should have at the workplace is the occasional indoor plant and/or a pet rock.
I found myself rolling my eyes at some of these people. You seriously can’t function as a productive employee without your animal? You can’t just leave the 73-pound pig at home? Really?
First off, not everyone likes pets. And they aren’t going to like pets anymore by having yours shed, roughhouse and defecate anywhere near their workspace.
Fear is an issue that’s often overlooked. Though I myself adore dogs, I’ve had several people with a deathly fear of them visit my home, and I don’t hesitate to crate my dog during their visit. I would expect the same courtesy from a co-worker who brought their snake to the office.
Don’t forget allergies. Anyone who’s seen a cat allergy unfold knows it isn’t a pleasant experience.
Finally, we see pet friendly office policies for what they really are — a permitted distraction for you and everyone you work with.
It’s kind of like having a class pet. When the teacher hauls out the classroom turtle, mouse or, God forbid, tarantula, all the focus and attention is drawn there. Do you really expect anyone to get multiplication tables done while Mr. Jingles is learning to use the hamster wheel?
And if you think adults aren’t susceptible to this kind of behavior, think again. People go crazy when they see a dog, they’ll pet it before the owner can say, “He likes to bite.” Curiosity and interest will prevail around the exotic pets, despite a little wariness to touch them. Sure enough, people will come running to the next cubicle to see what stunt the snake or ferret is doing next.
I understand the guilt people feel about leaving their animals at home when they leave for their job. Just this week my father left for a trip to Prague, and our black lab followed me everywhere I went in the house, not knowing what to do with himself when the alpha was gone.
But if you can’t deal with the guilt and you don’t have enough time to socialize with your animal between work hours, don’t own a pet.
maehogan@indiana.edu
