I am sharing my deepest sentiments with Yaolin’s mom as the article published in the IDS on Oct. 27 got me overly emotional. Being a mother of three girls, aged 20, 18 and 14, respectively, from Ghana and knowing how our culture has helped us groom our daughters in a way that no other external culture can easily subsume our children and turn them away from us, I definitely felt for Yaolin’s mom and her sister. This is definitely a wakeup call for all parents, especially mothers to be extra close to our daughters to make sure they are doing well in school and personal life.
Parents of international students spend lots of money, at times selling property and expensive jewelry in addition to emotional support for our children to study abroad. Even though the Chinese government supports its students to study abroad, which is excellent, I know parents still spend so much money and time to make their children feel at home in the United States.
As an associate instructor for the past four years here at IU, I have taught a lot of international students, including Asians, and have gradually drawn closer to know them and how they feel about issues. Considering how reserved they are in class, I always encouraged them to come to my office hours, and most of them were open enough to share their problems with me, which I directed them to appropriate offices on campus for help and support.
What makes me sad the most is that there are lots of associate instructors and faculty members/undergraduate advisors who open their doors to all students that Yaolin could have taken advantage of considering that most of us are really approachable.
And then I am also surprised that Yaolin did not at least turn to the Office of International Services. IU has one of the best international services that ever existed on any campus here in the U.S. that I know of. As a graduate student I have benefited from the OIS in terms of advising, need-based fees, immigration advising — you name it, this office opens up to every single international student on campus.
However, let me quickly mention that as much as the OIS is quite receptive to all international students on campus, they are also very strict with policies that need to be adhered to.
As I ponder about why Yaolin didn’t contact OIS about her situation, could it have been for fear of deportation? Or fear of being kicked out of IU? If so, her case is even not a policy issue so she would have been given the necessary support needed to get her out of her abusive condition.
Meanwhile, I’m still surprised about Yaolin because mothers are very close to their daughters so “why didn’t you call your mother?”
I hope this will be a wake up call to all and sundry, the question is: where will you take advice?
“Friends, OIS, CAPS, professors, associate instructors, coaches, mentors?”
Nana Amoah
IU doctoral student
