Why do we live in a world in which it’s okay for a man to make the first move, but not a woman?
As I was growing up I was told to never chase after a guy and to only let men chase after you.
I don’t blame anyone for giving me this advice, but it set up a system for society in which I was to live. As I grew up I began to realize almost all of society lived by it.
My friends and I would chat endlessly over guys while telling each other “But I’m not doing or saying anything until he does something to me first.”
We would sit there until the guy decided to make the first move. It could be coming up to talk to us, texting or calling. Whatever it was, we basically sat there and twiddled our thumbs until something happened.
Until this year, I didn’t really question why this was the normal way of interacting with people we were interested in.
I began to ask myself though, why is it that we’re told we can’t or shouldn’t make the first move with a guy for fear of them losing interest in us if we do?
But it’s all about the chase, right? Men are instantly assumed to be some sort of primal beings that chase after women. They only do so if they’re the ones doing the chasing.
Women are merely supposed to sit back, stay quiet and let men do all the work. I’ve got to admit when it's said like that, it doesn’t sound too bad at all.
However, it is.
It’s easier to understand when you ask yourself what happens when a woman decides to pursue a man.
The answer is she’s deemed as aggressive and maybe sometimes a little crazy too.
I’ve always been described as a go-getter and someone who doesn’t know a stranger, but I’ve been judged by people whenever I’ve told a story about me pursuing a guy or making the first move. They’ll say he’s either going to lose interest in me. Or they’ll say he’s going to think I’m too aggressive and run away in fear.
I’m calling bull on society’s limited and skewed perception of dating between men and women. We need to do away with the unspoken rule that the man should be the one to make the first move.
In light of all this, you might wonder why women are told to shy away from making the first move. Since when did being aggressive or a go-getter become a bad thing? Men certainly are rewarded for these qualities as are women, but not when it comes to dating.
I’m tired of being judged for merely going after what I want.
I think it’s time for everyone to drop this unspoken rule. It’s time for women to be able to pursue men without judgement or fear of scaring him away.
