President
Josiah “Jed” Bartlet, The West Wing. If we can’t draft every character from the West Wing, we’ll at least take the show’s commander-in-chief. Bartlet is remembered as one of the greatest fictional presidents: funny, flawed, intelligent, inspiring and, above all, hopeful.
Vice President Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation. She believes in government’s duty to serve, she’s from the Hoosier State and let’s face it, what more do you want in a vice president than enthusiasm and public-mindedness? Going from Pawnee bureaucracy to the Department of the Interior in the most recent season was just the start.
Chief of Staff Eddard “Ned” Stark, Game of Thrones. He might be the only honorable, loyal and moral character in six seasons of back-stabbery. He’s got the experience to run the Small Council — er, the councils within the Executive Office — and if the man is responsible for something, he will never, ever pass the buck.
THE CABINET
Department of State Jadzia Dax, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. As a Trill, Jadzia Dax is the product of a symbiotic relationship between a young woman and a long-lived, sentient being. Therefore, Dax has centuries of experience and learning that qualify her to serve in a diplomatic role and implement foreign ministry.
Department of the Treasury Mycroft Holmes, Sherlock. The U.S. will never be able to steal Holmes (he basically runs the British government, we’re told), which is a shame, because he could clear up our monetary deficit in a week.
Department of Defense Jack and Sydney Bristow, Alias. They’ve got experience directing and working in multiple intelligence agencies, an excellent, balanced professional relationship, and miles upon miles of trust issues. All good things, as far as defending an entire country goes.
Department of Justice Thelonious Jaha, The 100. He managed a space station where the only alternative to imprisonment was capital punishment and fully understands the havoc that a “guilty” verdict and wreak on a person’s life and loved ones. We could do worse than a guy who has seen the worst and hopes for the best.
Department of the Interior Ellen Degeneres, The Ellen Show. It sucks that the Weekend desk can’t actually find a Native American television character to manage the U.S.’s treatment of Native American, Native Alaskan and Native Hawaiian lands. Do better, TV. We pick Ellen because she’s eco-conscious, at least, and imagining her working with Leslie Knope is all kinds of fun.
Department of Agriculture Captain Planet, Captain Planet. He may not have a lot of farming experience, but we’d absolutely trust him to conserve resources and keep up with food safety practices. (Alternative: Summer Roberts, The O.C.)
Department of Commerce Bruce Wayne, The Batman. OK, OK, we understand that the whole point of vigilante justice is that a person can’t get the same results working within the law. But we bet that if he tried, brilliant entrepreneur Bruce Wayne could get pretty far creating jobs and adopting cutting-edge technology in businesses.
Department of Labor Odell Watkins, The Wire. Watkins’ willingness to work for citizens’ interests was a rarity in the world of “The Wire.” This state delegate worked in appropriations, but his civic-mindedness could easily translate to workforce regulation.
Department of Housing and Urban Development Charlie Young, The West Wing. As Bartlet’s aide, he fights for earned income tax credit before heading off to law school. Imagine a future where Young returns to the White House to work for fair housing laws and aid for distressed neighborhoods — maybe as a pit stop on the way to the Oval Office. We should be so lucky.
Department of Transportation Shepherd Derrial Book, Firefly. Book’s background in the Alliance is still kind of a mystery, but he’s smart and capable, could totally pick Wash and Kaylee’s brains if he needs help, and understands that “how you get there is the worthier part.”
Department of Energy Francisco Ramon, The Flash. He’s an actual mechanical engineering genius and helped build the S.T.A.R. Labs particle accelerator. Also, his White House workwear would be killer.
Department of Education Laura Roslin, Battlestar Galactica. Before she was President of the Twelve Colonies of Kobol, Roslin was the Secretary of Education. She led humanity through mass genocide courtesy of the Cylons. Vanquishing the ISTEP? No problem.
Department of Veterans Affairs Daniel Sousa, Marvel’s Agent Carter. As head of the L.A. branch of the Strategic Scientific Reserve, Sousa’s proven his ability to lead with incisiveness and empathy. And as a WWII vet, he’s seen the prejudice leveled at wounded soldiers.
Department of Homeland Security Saul Berenson, Homeland. His loyalties have been questioned, but not nearly as often as any other character on this show. In “Homeland,” there are sometimes only bad options and worse ones, but at least Berenson is genuinely committed to finding justice, however slight it may turn out to be.