Georgia lawmakers recently passed the Living Infants Fairness and Equality (LIFE) Act in its House of Representatives. The bill, which is now awaiting the approval of anti-abortion Gov. Brian Kemp, would outlaw abortions in most cases where a heartbeat can be observed in an embryo.
The term “heartbeat” has been called into question, as “cardiac activity” may be more accurate terminology for an embryo that cannot yet be considered a fetus.
Generally speaking, a “heartbeat” can be found at around six weeks from a woman's last period. For a typical cycle, that means a period that’s only two weeks late. If a woman's cycle is longer or irregular, she may not find out that she's pregnant until it’s too late for her to get an abortion.
But I am not writing this to convince you to oppose or support this legislation. I am writing to tell you that I am tired of being a woman.
Every day I wake up, and I am a woman. There are moments when that is awesome and magical.
A classmate I have never spoken to before offers me a hair tie as I complain about how unruly my hair is being. The only other girl up at 3 a.m. gives me her last pad when I’m out. I cry in public, and the women walking by stops to check on me. I am reminded that I am not alone. We are taking care of each other.
There are moments it feels non-awesome and unmagical. Looking at the news and seeing a wealthy white man older than time making decisions about uteri he has no stake in, suddenly your stomach hurts more than it ever has from period cramps.
They’re calling it the LIFE Act. Opposing such a thing would be inhumane on my part. I do not want to be against life.
Never mind that it’s a manipulative acronym that will ruin lives. Never mind that Georgia lawmakers have not mandated statewide comprehensive sex education, allowing over a third of high schools to teach abstinence as sex education, despite the fact comprehensive sex education has been linked to lower rates of teen pregnancy.
I sit and I feel guilty for an abortion I have not had, but might need one day. Frankly, that is outrageous.
But it’s not uncommon for women. We are simultaneously the victim and the villain.
We are overreacting and overly emotional as we are dismissed. A slut as we are assaulted. A bad mother as we return to work, unable to afford to stay home.
It’s exhausting and dehumanizing. To live your life not only discouraged when the bagel place is out of your usual order, but with the looming sense that every institution in your life is designed to your disadvantage and the culture of every day life is eager to place the blame on you.
And that’s my experience as a privileged cis-gendered white woman.
Black women in the United States die from pregnancy-related issues at three to four times the rate of white women. This has been attributed in part to health care access but also how likely black women are to have their symptoms dismissed.
Latina women make up 53 percent of what white men make. That’s nearly half the paycheck of a white man.
Trans women face incredibly high rates of violence. A study from the Human Rights Campaign and Trans People of Color Coalition estimated that in comparison to cis women, trans women are 4.3 times as likely to be murdered in the United States.
I cannot imagine the mental toll of being a minority woman in the U.S. I’m exhausted from being a cis white woman.
These are not just statistics, and they’re not numbers for someone to hear, be upset by for 30 minutes max, only to be forgotten by bedtime.
They’re drawn from the real world. Real life institutions and attitudes that rule our society have generated these numbers that shape every aspect of life for living breathing people.
Being a woman pervades every aspect of our lives. And being a man does the same. We just don’t notice it because when privilege permeates, it doesn’t suck.
It’s easy to forget the advantages our society has ingrained so deeply in our concept of manhood. It’s harder to stop and recognize when we’re talking over others and making their decisions for them.
We can’t overthrow institutionalized misogyny overnight. It’s not an easy fix.
But we can listen to the women in our lives. We can let them vent and amplify their voices. We can work to be better and take action against measures that will further disadvantage women.
