Ten women formed a line down East Kirkwood Avenue, giving out hugs and high-fives to strangers.
Some held pinwheels or wore colorful plastic beads. The women represented the Indiana chapter of Free Mom Hugs.
Free Mom Hugs is a national organization that seeks to provide an affirming environment for members of the LGBTQ community. The organization has active chapters in 48 states, according to their website.
Besides giving hugs and high-fives, Free Mom Hugs also supports LGBTQ people’s weddings by sending a volunteer if a parent is not allowed or refuses to attend. Patty Meriwether, Indiana chapter leader, said the organization has helped connect couples to LGBTQ-friendly pastors to officiate weddings.
Meriwether, a mother of three, said many people don’t understand the need for an organization like Free Mom Hugs because mainstream media seems supportive of the “gay agenda.”
“In reality, we know that’s not necessarily the case,” she said. “There are people who don’t get that affirmation in their everyday home life.”
Eight years ago, Meriwether lived in a rural town in Ohio and was the wife of a conservative evangelical pastor. As her youngest child got ready for his junior year of high school, Meriwether was worried about him. He wasn’t eating and seemed depressed. He left his Facebook account logged in on her laptop, and she discovered messages where he confessed he was gay.
She said this caused a lot of tension within their family.
“We knew what we knew, which was limited, about the gay community,” Meriwether said. “We held to traditional biblical understandings of homosexuality.”
In trying to process their son’s sexuality, Meriwether said she and her husband told him they loved him but didn’t agree with his choice. Now eight years later, she feels differently.
“It’s sort of an odd thing to say to someone who’s just dealing with how they are,” Meriwether said.
She said reading, praying and connecting online with other mothers who were in similar situations helped her come to terms with her son’s sexuality. Later, her middle child came out as non-binary during their senior year of college.
Meriwether said the congregation at church didn’t accept her family’s new approach to queerness, so they left the evangelical church three years ago. She said she and her husband now live in Fort Wayne with a more accepting mindset.
“When I found out about my kids, it turned my world right side up, not upside down,” Meriwether said.
Hale, who insisted her last name remain anonymous for fear of jeopardizing her relationship with family members, said she came to Pridefest to feel like she belongs.
She said she and her mom aren’t close, so she doesn’t feel comfortable telling her that she’s bisexual. Her dad knows, but Hale still doesn’t tell him when she’s dating girls or non-binary people.
Hale said being bisexual can make it difficult to feel accepted.
“People try to invalidate it,” she said. “They’ll say, ‘Just pick one.’”
Hale said she didn’t expect to get emotional at the festival Saturday, but she cried as she hugged the second mom in line. She said it gave her some reassurance.
“There’s an actual mom who has kids and would be OK with this,” she said. “They don’t know anything about me, not even my name, but they still hugged me. If I were to tell my mom, I don’t know if she would hug me.”
Lisa Simmons Thatcher, the Free Mom Hugs organizer for Bloomington, said everyone needs to feel acceptance.
“It’s so alienating if you feel like you can’t come out to your family, or if you have and the relationship has changed negatively because of that,” Thatcher said.
She said that’s where Free Mom Hugs comes in.
“There is power in parental love, and there is power in the physical embrace of acceptance and somebody celebrating that you are here as you are,” Thatcher said.
She said Free Mom Hugs provides a simple first step in getting involved in LGBTQ activism.
Cate Racek, mom of two elementary school children, was a first-time hugger this Pridefest. She said she actively supports the LGBTQ community through a church group, but she wanted to do more and became a volunteer with Free Mom Hugs.
“It’s such a simple, loving thing with no strings attached,” she said. “For whatever reason, they need a hug, and they don’t need to say why.”
