The Calm
If this wasn’t an everyday thing I wouldn’t consider anything about this tranquil
This relationship with my father has always been something so tedious
Something so worn that we don’t argue now
Ain’t no use in kindling them when we can live in the calm of it
The petrichor swayed in our nostrils as we pulled up chairs in his newly constructed
garage It still smelled of fresh paint and fire
This my childhood home where I was sexually assaulted had burned down weeks prior
Almost with you in it
Regardless, I figured that in this moment it was best to stay silent
It’s best to do less talking
Appreciate the silence for just that
Who knows what words will set us on fire
And who knows when the fighting will cease
Who knows what can stop one hurricane from swallowing another
The Storm
The first thing you said to me when I walked into the white hospital room was
Daddy is drunk
I stopped walking towards you, my knees grew weak with anger
Blood the color of wine was spilling from your busted lip
Your teeth chipped, body gashed and bleeding
You laid there praying out loud for death in front of me
Waiting for some moonless figure
Tears bled from your eyes
Like this is the moment we needed to bring us together
Your body propelling and face whacking against concrete
I feel small then big then small again
I could’ve told you the fire would consume my father too
I also could’ve told you that my father is the fire or
He can’t scold forever
I started writing this poem two years ago and never could finish it
Us drinking and being father & daughter
I had it wrong, didn’t i?
You once assembled my siblings and I in the kitchen
You said you wanted us to always know death like a cousin who loves to spennanight; who
To know it’s greed for our flesh
You promised coins to us if only we promised to not cry at your funeral as if it was coming soon
You raised me to believe that death was always coming
What a new way to greet our gods
The dead giving coins to the living as if to say
You following me anyway
Because ain’t we all dead? Or gon be??
I got my love for watching flames turn things to ash from you
How else would I expect you to go if not burning?
