Just like that, it’s Bachelor Monday again! Zach so cleverly named this week “no sex week.” Lovely. Let’s get into the most awkward fantasy suite week ever.
Week nine
Let’s cue the resort promo! Zach and the remaining three women traveled to Thailand this week for overnight — or fantasy suite — dates.
Zach sat down with host Jesse Palmer to talk about how he did not want to be intimate with any of the women during the overnight date, to which Jesse lets Zach know how doing that “will be so challenging.” Thank you for that awkward insight, Jesse.
After what feels like the hundredth shower scene of Zach, he goes on his date with Ariel. The two travel to a Thailand market where they eat various bugs. During the date, Zach continuously talks about how he “feels hot when I kiss her.” I have no idea how many times Zach kept saying that, but after the first time, I felt like I knew too much.
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During the evening portion of the date, Ariel lets Zach know she is falling in love with him, to which Zach expresses how he sees a future with her. When given the key for the overnight room, Zach talks to Ariel about how he decided to not be intimate with all the women this week. Ariel tells Zach she is surprised but respects his decision.
We then get a lovely shot of Zach putting a do not disturb sign on the door as he says, “I don’t know how I’ll do it.” That is so awkward — like, don’t his parents watch the show? In the morning, Zach says how the overnight date was very meaningful and allowed for a lot of deep conversations that strengthened his relationship with Ariel.
For the next date, Zach and Gabi ride on a pirate ship to travel to a private island. Gabi keeps talking about how she is really in her head this week. She gets really emotional with Zach when talking about her previous relationship — in which she was cheated on — and how she is really anxious about being second best. Zach reassures her and lets her know he does see a future with her — even though he has told that to every woman so far.
During the evening portion of the date, Gabi tells Zach that she is falling in love with him... shocker. Zach expresses how he doesn’t want to be intimate during the overnight portion. After that, Gabi keeps almost implying that she thinks it’ll be a game and says, “Maybe he wouldn’t before, but maybe he will with me.”
In the morning, Zach talks about how he feels really regretful for making that statement at the beginning of the week and expresses how he was intimate with Gabi. He sat down with Jesse and talked about how he needed to do that with Gabi to further their relationship, but he doesn’t want to keep secrets with the other women and is nervous about how they will react.
Zach goes to Gabi’s room and expresses how he is really overwhelmed and doesn’t want to keep secrets with other women. Gabi said she really felt blindsided because she doesn’t understand why Zach has to share that information with the other women and didn’t realize this would make him so distraught. But before he leaves, Zach shares how he is falling in love with Gabi and feels a really strong connection with her; his face seemed almost terrified when he said that, so I’m not really sure if his intrusive thoughts got the best of him…
For the final date of the week, Zach and Kaity go kayaking through the jungle, to which they pull over to sit and talk. Zach tells Kaity his thoughts going into this week, but then he shares how he was intimate with another woman this week, too. Kaity was — rightly so — very upset and said she would’ve rather he just not told her. This entire time I’m just wondering how many bug bites they are getting while sitting right by the river water in the middle of a thunderstorm.
At this point in the argument, the storm is picking up and the producers are on the opposite side of them, clearly zooming in from a distance. Because of this — it's literally pitch black on the screen — all I could hear were voices in the distance. I literally turned my brightness up all the way.
Kaity was really upset with Zach, and Zach kept apologizing, but Kaity said, “Apologizing for what? Did you want me to high-five you?” I literally laughed out loud.
During the evening portion of the date, Zach doesn’t know if Kaity will show up. And just as he says this, Kaity shows up — how coincidental. Kaity said she doesn’t care about his relationships with the other women and still feels like the luckiest girl in the world to be on this journey with Zach. I don’t understand how she went from literally wanting to leave to — three hours later — feeling lucky to be with Zach.
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Anyway, in the morning — after Zach laughed at his own joke — he said he is confident about their relationship and is excited for the future.
Heading into the rose ceremony, I’m wondering the entire time if he has even talked to Ariel about what happened. Zach stands in front of all three women, apologizes for the mistakes he made during the week, and hands a rose to Kaity and Gabi, leaving Ariel to be sent home. Ariel did not shed a single tear like the queen she is.
Back at the rose ceremony, Kaity tells Gabi she was the only one who was intimate, and Gabi says she felt like she was wearing an “A” on her and was extremely upset with Zach for sharing the details. During the toast between the two women, and Zach is staring at Kaity the entire time and not even making eye contact with Gabi; Zach is literally such a dingus sometimes.
After quite the jam-packed episode this week, get ready for what I’m sure will be a dramatic season finale next Monday! Thank goodness Jesse did not say “two-night season finale.” I don’t think I could’ve handled that.
Get your popcorn ready and see you next week!
