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It is said that there is a difference between dating and being in a relationship. Dating is that period in which you and your potential partner are getting to know each other and seeing what you both have to offer. However, being in a relationship means that you and your partner have ultimately gotten to see the qualities you have to offer and have decided to take the next step and be exclusive. But what are those qualities, how can you sort them out, and how can you determine if a person has those qualities or not?
Physical Qualities
For many people physical attraction may not be the most important aspect, however, physical attraction does do a lot when anyone is choosing a partner. After all, even if a person checks off every single box when it comes to mental qualities they are unlikely to choose a person as a partner if there isn’t some form of physical attraction between them.
However, there is not an exact list of what physical attributes students or anyone tends to look for as they all vary so widely across the board. After all, what one group of students finds to be a complete turn-on could be a complete turn-off for other students. Ultimately when it comes to what physical qualities a person is looking for it truly depends on the individual. Therefore it is important to not rely on the physical qualities you have.
Mental Qualities
When it comes to the most appealing mental qualities this is where we can get more specific. While some qualities are more attractive than others, much like physical qualities we tend to find that while there is some variation the mental qualities that many students and people in general seek out for a relationship are essentially the same across the board. Here are some important mental qualities many people look for when they are looking to be in a relationship.
Emotional Maturity
It’s a good idea to never let perfection get in the way of good enough. After all, almost every single person in the world is going to have their flaws and baggage. This is what makes emotional maturity such an attractive feature.
When a person is emotionally mature they are open and accept their flaws wholeheartedly. However, they also reflect on their mistakes in the past and use them to ensure that they do better in the future. An emotionally mature person shouldn’t be non-reactive but reactive to the correct degree. After all, when a person is excited we expect a bit of a raise in their voice and pitch as that is a natural reaction to the emotion they are feeling. However, they should not act before they think, and should not let their immediate emotions rule the actions that they take.
Honesty
Although there are times in which a minor lie is appropriate, such as when you are planning a surprise, honesty overall is one of the best qualities to have in a relationship. When choosing a partner it is important that you can trust them, and that you know what to expect of them. An honest person will often ensure that their words and actions match wholeheartedly and that they are open with you about what they want and need. They should even be open about taboo topics such as sexual desires or lack thereof. Sometimes the truth is difficult to swallow, however, it is much easier to deal with that than the stress and anxiety a lack of honesty can create.
Independent
It is important that in a relationship you can essentially think of yourself and your partner as a package deal. However, it is also important to recognize that you are both still individuals who are separate from one another. When looking for someone to have a relationship with, college students want to find someone who can fit along well with them but is also capable of being their person. After all, they don’t want someone who can complete them, but instead someone that they can stand alongside.
Respectful
Respect has many different meanings, for example, the respect you give to your parents is the respect that you give to those with more experience. However, the respect you give to your partner is the type of respect you would give to any individual. You don’t bring them down and don’t let them bring you down either. With that, you ensure that you walk on the same level as they do.
With respect, you listen to the other and are also not afraid to challenge one another, especially when self-destruction may come into play. You also healthily discuss things and celebrate one another's achievements as well.
Sensitive
A sensitive person is more finely in tune with their emotions. They understand that it is okay to cry, to laugh, or to even be angry and will healthily deal with those emotions. They will laugh with you, cry, and show much more empathy and sympathy than others. Being a sensitive person does not necessarily mean that they will cry about every little thing, or that they will throw a fit when they don’t get what they want, as those can be signs of emotional immaturity. But rather they are ok with crying, and they are ok with disappointment as well.
Openness
A great quality for a relationship is openness. When a person is open it means they are honest with their partner and are capable of talking healthily and reflectively. This also means that there is a lack of unnecessary secrecy. A person who is open in a healthy manner is welcoming to feedback, both positive and negative. They are also able to not only grow and change as a person themselves but a person who is open to this growth is more likely to help their partner grow and change as well.
Independent
An independent person is someone who can stand on their own. They are a person who can fend for themselves but is also not afraid to ask for help whenever they need it. This is important because while you are in a relationship it is important that you can rely on each other, however, it’s also important that you and your partner can still lead their own separate lives without having to worry about how the other is doing.
Empathetic and Sympathetic
Empathy means that you understand something that a person is going through because you have experienced it yourself. While sympathy means that you understand what they are going through even if you haven’t experienced it yourself. When a person is either or both of these things they are unlikely to dismiss your feelings and are more likely to lend you a hand when you require one.
Funny
A funny person is more likely to be confident and interesting than a person who is not. After all, humor is one of the best ways for a person to communicate the way that they view the world. It is also important to note that a person who is cheerful, humorous, and light-hearted is a person who is more likely to possess many of the other good qualities that a student may wish to find in a relationship.
Affectionate
Affection, whether it be emotional or physical affection is important to a relationship because it allows you to connect with your partner more. After all, one of the keys to making a relationship last is to keep the intimacy alive and well. When you are with a partner who refuses to do anything even as simple as hold your hand, or even say “I love you” without a fight. You may not feel like you’re in a romantic relationship, but instead, you may feel as if you are a friend with benefits. Without affection of any kind, there is no romance, and without that romance, there may as well be no relationship.
Where Students Find Relationships
Students in search of casual dating opportunities or long-term relationships have more opportunities than ever. They can download the Hily app or use other websites to connect with people online. Many attend campus events with a primary or secondary goal of meeting the right person. Of course, most college towns have at least some hangouts for students who want to go out at night.
There are many different appealing qualities that people look for across the board that this list sadly doesn’t cover. However, as each person individually looks for different qualities, what we showed here are the qualities that are pretty universally desired.
