Over the past few months, I’ve been dealing with a lot of rejection. That’s not to say rejection is a foreign concept to me, but I feel like the discourse surrounding the topic is taboo. Of course, no one wants to sulk about their shortcomings or discuss how they didn’t achieve what they wanted, but to not talk about it at all has left me feeling like I am the only person in the world who encounters rejection.
I can understand why people would only want to highlight their accomplishments, but why not acknowledge the things we do not achieve? Whether you don’t do as well as expected on an exam or utterly fail a job interview, recognizing rejection will give it less power over ourselves and our self-esteem.
I have worked my entire life to be perfect. I strived to get the perfect grades, made sure I had perfect attendance, kept myself out of trouble, always said the right things and tried to be the bigger person — despite being completely exhausted. This led me to believe, because of my relentless determination, I would have endless options to choose from when it comes to my future. Nonetheless, every door I have knocked on with a beacon of hope for an internship in the summer has been painfully slammed in my face. How am I supposed to keep myself from falling down?
I could say nothing worthwhile comes easy, and it’ll all be worth it in the end, but I must be honest and say that mindset absolutely sucks. It discredits how much it hurts to have to push through the disappointment. Sometimes I just want to crawl up in a ball, rot in bed and acknowledge the world is terrible and everything is hopeless!
Unfortunately, this process has forced me to do some introspection. I say unfortunately because, as comfortable as it is to wallow away in self-pity, it will get you nowhere. In order to grow we must be uncomfortable. I’ve had a recent realization that, after going through countless difficult things, I have developed a higher threshold for what I can handle.
It seems as if life, when it comes to success, presents us with two choices: a way out or a way through. I’m not sure about you, but I would rather endure than give up. As much as it may hurt to fail, nothing could be more painful than knowing you didn’t try at all.
I had to let go of the expectation my life was going to be perfect, and more importantly that I had to be perfect. As much as I want things to be stable and consistent, there would be no excitement. There are supposed to be failures and successes. I am supposed to feel disappointed, regretful and frustrated that things did not go exactly how I wanted them to.
If this were a perfect world, life would be simple. Success would be easy. But if it were easy and I didn’t have to work hard for the things I want to achieve, would they even feel like achievements? That’s completely rhetorical — obviously.
Don’t get me wrong, while I have a newfound appreciation for all the people who decided to miss out on my potential, it still sucks. Being told you're not good enough or seeing an embarrassingly low Canvas grade will always be depressing, but it’s a part of the journey. Everyone fails — remind yourself of that the next time you’re feeling discouraged. In a world where we can choose to either sink or swim, I will always choose to swim — even if it means I struggle sometimes to keep my head above water.
Thalia Alleman (she/her) is a junior studying journalism and public relations.
