Even as a junior, I still don’t consider myself to be fully adjusted to college or my life away from home. Maybe I am severely attached to my family and childhood friends, or maybe I just can't get rid of my all-encompassing thoughts that college is bound to end.
I have always felt that, while I have made some great friendships over the past three years, nothing can compare to the friends I have at home who I consider to be my family. Of course, those friendships have years of history behind them, but when you find something so fulfilling, it seems pointless to try and fill that best-friend-shaped void.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand many people have found their lifelong friends in college, but I just haven’t — perhaps I just don’t want to. I hate to be cynical, but I can’t escape the idea that when we graduate, we will go our separate ways and try to stay connected, but ultimately, will rarely ever see each other.
This brings me to my annoyance about the skewed perceptions I feel college students have. I have always thought college was for one thing: furthering my education. Everything else was just something that came along with it: friends, experiences, parties, etc. None of that truly ever mattered to me. The sole purpose of my college experience was to find my true passion and use every opportunity offered to me so I could be successful. I’ve learned the same perspective does not apply to everyone — which seems ridiculous to me.
I don’t want college to be the best four years of my life. Undoubtedly, I have had amazing experiences that have absolutely nothing to do with my education but if this is my peak, I may as well quit now.
I’m not even a senior yet, and I am experiencing the worst case of senioritis. I feel like I have so much to look forward to, but I’m sitting on the sidelines waiting until I can play the game. I’ve recently decided to spend the upcoming fall semester in Los Angeles working in the media industry. In the process of exploring this new endeavor, I find myself overwhelmed with excitement.
I’ve never considered myself to be comfortable with change, let alone drastic change like uprooting my life to California for a semester. College, however, has forced me to be comfortable with new opportunities. To know I must come back and spend a semester waiting for something I feel prepared for causes even more frustration. Junior year has been a turning point for me — everything I used to be so excited for seems redundant, hence my recently discovered fondness for change.
There is no specific way you’re meant to experience life — especially life in college. If these aren’t the most amazing years of your life, you’re certainly not the only one feeling that way. I’ve been trying to catch up with my older self for so long, but it's a race I will always lose. All I can do is be patient and understand that life is not meant to be rushed. I suppose someday I will look back at my harsh, but brutally honest perspective and wish I cherished my freedom and lack of responsibility. Your college experience will be whatever it is meant to be. It’s okay to not want to force yourself to fit into a box that is too small for you and your dreams.
Thalia Alleman is a junior studying journalism and public relations.
