Editor's note: All opinions, columns and letters reflect the views of the individual writer and not necessarily those of the IDS or its staffers.
It doesn't take much time on the internet to meet her. On YouTube, she is the perfectly curated “It Girl” playlist. On TikTok, she has her own theme song, makeup and hair routine. On Instagram, her pictures are perfectly posed, her page stacked with vacation destinations and Pinterest-worthy vision boards.
But who is this elusive “it girl”? She wakes up at 5 a.m., dons her matching Aritzia workout set and goes to Pilates before doing her 30,000-step skincare routine and Gua sha. She never has a bad hair day, she always smells like vanilla and she never feels anxious. She exists perfectly and effortlessly; she excels in life in every possible metric. In a sentence: she always has her life together.
I’m jealous just writing about it. But I digress from my usual diatribes and bear you good news today: “It Girl” doesn't exist!
A figment of our social media algorithms and greatest aspirations, “It Girl” is the culmination of every possible trait we seek to cultivate within ourselves and every materialistic desire we wish to obtain. As such, she is the epitome of the unrealistic standard.
It’s exhausting!
It’s easy to scroll through our socials, especially seeing all those spring break vacation photos, and think to ourselves how much better our lives would be if we had it all a little more together. We would be more fulfilled if our skin was a little clearer or our schedules were a little more organized, but the truth is, real beauty is in the mess! Learn how to embrace the imperfections and find joy in the journey because no one has it all together; we’re all just doing our best to make the most of life. True joy is found in authenticity and self-acceptance. Life isn’t about perfection — it’s about the moments that make us feel alive. The laughter shared with friends, the quiet mornings with a cup of coffee and even the tears that remind us of our capacity to feel deeply.
So, stop waiting for everything to be perfect before you allow yourself to be happy. Your life is happening now, in all its chaotic, beautiful imperfection. Embrace it, live it and love it exactly as it is. You are enough just as you are, and that is more than enough.
From my own personal experience, social media can often feel like a never-ending race toward an impossible ideal. Many researchers seem to agree; according to one report from the National Library of Medicine which found that social media “encourages social comparisons” as users are exposed to an abundance of peer-shared images and content with which to compare. We don’t have to look hard at our own lives to confirm these results. Many of us, having grown up with the internet, know all too well the pressures of living in an age where digital personas have the tendency to overshadow reality.
So, here’s to finding beauty in the mess, the mistakes and the realness. Embrace the highs, the lows and everything in between because each experience is uniquely your own. Find your own beat and change it whenever you like. Try new things, fail at them and then try again or change your mind. Be whoever you want to be. Celebrate victories, big and small. Unburden yourself from needless expectations and standards. Romanticize your life and everything in it. Let your authenticity, not my conformity, be what speaks loudest about you.
So, when you meet “It Girl” online or in real life, know that she’s a person too, just doing her best. She has insecurities, struggles and off-days like everyone else. The image of effortless perfection is just that — an image. Extend grace to yourself and others instead of comparing yourself to an unattainable standard. We are all navigating life in our own way, and that is more than enough.
Ainsley Foster (she/her) is a junior studying Elementary Education.
